While a fantastic first date undeniably relies on more than just the location, a lousy environment can drag even a good date down: Envisioning a future with someone is nearly impossible while screaming over too-loud music and sipping lukewarm beer.
On the flip side, the right bar can enhance the experience, and it just might push a great date into perfect territory. In a welcoming environment with a flawlessly mixed cocktail in hand, having a good time is a breeze. Just take care not to confuse the perfect setting with a perfect love connection.
No matter the scenario, bartenders have borne witness to it all: the good, the bad, the ugly, the hilarious, the embarrassing, and the wonderful. They know better than anyone the qualities that make a perfect first-date bar, and we’ve convinced them to reveal their secrets in the name of love. Whether you’re looking to break a streak of bad dates or just looking for your next go-to spot, a bar that checks these boxes is guaranteed to make the evening a hit.
What makes a perfect first-date bar, according to the pros:
- Dim lighting
- Conversation pieces
- Engaging and knowledgeable service
- Bar games
- Great music
- Comforting hospitality
- Close proximity to other bars
- Vinyls and trustworthy DJs
- A wine-bar atmosphere
- Quiet corners with places to mingle
- Appropriate sound level
- Going somewhere you’ve been before
- A curated menu
- Attentive but low-intervention service
- A welcoming environment
- Menu items that spark conversation
- Casual bar seating
- Good snacks
- Warm and cozy vibe
- Alcoholic and non-alcoholic drink options
- Shareable menu items
- Inventive cocktails
- Low-pressure atmosphere
- Decent beer and wine selection
- A variety of hot dogs
“The perfect first-date bar has dim lighting and conversation pieces like great art or design for icebreakers. It’s bustling but not packed; there’s nothing more awkward than being the only two there. There should be a variety of offerings for different tastes and budgets, and bar snacks — don’t get drunk on a first date! If the date is a dud, sparking a conversation with engaging and knowledgeable staff can help throw your conversation a bone and keep things entertaining. Bonus points for bar games like darts or pinball to break up a dull conversation! Lastly, there should be something else close by in case you want to keep the night going. Don’t go over the top on the first date (save the Michelin dining for date, like, 5) but first impressions matter — hip and casual for the win.” —Gianna Johns, owner and beverage director, Baby Gee, Long Beach, Calif.
“Dating in public is weird enough these days. Most people are more comfortable with a layer of internet between them. So, if you want your bar to be a safe spot for love adventures, you’ve got to keep the vibe fun and relaxed. The fact that two people are meeting for the first time should be the third or fourth most exciting thing happening. Great music, a world of drink options — whether with or without booze — and a bar team that can fight off any awkward silences. That also helps.” —Jordan Daniels, bartender, Sunny’s Lounge, Phoenix
“A good date spot is somewhere that makes you feel comfortable and relieves the pressure and awkwardness of newness while offering an ambiance of intimacy. A place where the hospitality is attuned to your needs and able to effectively adjust to the level of engagement one is seeking while on a first date.” —Elaine Ceballos, bartender, CERDITO MUERTO, Chicago
“When picking a first-date bar, I always try to find the goldilocks middle ground of not too fancy, not too divey, not too loud, and not too subdued. Having equal options to enjoy a balanced cocktail, a beer, or a good glass of wine is also important depending on what I’m in the mood to drink. Oftentimes I feel like wine-by-the-glass selections are a telltale sign of where a bar lands on the divey-to-fancy spectrum — if there’s mostly big production or highly commercial wines available by the glass, it’s likely erring on the too divey side. Alternatively, if the wines are all above $17 per glass, then it may be too posh for a first date spot! Proximity to other bars is also a factor when planning a first date. I am biased being an East Villager, but being in a neighborhood that has an eclectic collection of bars means being able to spontaneously go to a second bar if the date is going well.” —Camille Lindsley, wine director and owner, HAGS, New York City
“A perfect first date bar is all about the combination of feeling comfortable, a sweet soundtrack to suit the vibe, and a menu that offers heavy hitters mixed with chances to explore. We play a heavy rotation of vinyls — keeping Sade’s entire discography in hand — and place trust in our rotating resident DJs to pull from their libraries and set the mood. First dates are all about the ease and flow of a nice conversation paired with the ability to feel each other out in an environment that’s safe, welcoming, and, in our case, a place where our neighborhood convenes to break bread and commune.” —Justin LeClair, general manager, NightBloom, New Orleans
“I met my partner at a bar, so I’ve always felt that these spaces carry a quiet kind of romance. The best ones are welcoming but not stuffy. Some lively music, some candles, and some small bites to share. To me, a wine bar is perfect. Somewhere like Maison Bar à Vins if you are in Washington, D.C., or maybe Sauced in New York embody that ease. The wine can flow, the conversation takes its time, and you can relax and get to know one another.” —Suzy Critchlow, beverage director, The Popal Group, Washington, D.C.
“My perfect first-date bar has both quiet corners and places to mingle (in case I need to make a stealthy escape). I love a curated cocktail menu and good happy hour. Ambiance is also a must. I prefer moody lighting, funky decor, and a good playlist.” —Sophie Norman, bartender, Rosemary and Beauty Queen, Nashville
“The venue is of utmost importance as it will set the tone for the evening. For a first-date bar, ambiance is key. Look for lighting that is dim enough to make you look and feel sexy and a decibel level that will allow you to talk but not so quiet that an awkward silence feels very awkward. Go with a place that’s middle-of-the-road as far as price. Choose a bar with food and go during the week — weekends are not for first dates. Finally, if you are picking the spot, make sure you have been there before. First dates are not the time to experiment. If you know a bartender or the owner, it’s always nice to give them a heads up and let them know you are coming and bringing a first date. They will go out of their way to make you look good.” —Josef Griz, bar manager, Darling Rooftop at Park Lane, NYC
“I think a perfect first-date bar hits all the senses through lighting, smells, visual aspects, and comfortability. This paired with a curated menu to spark conversation as well as music are all key elements in creating an atmosphere just right for date night. At the end of the day it’s all about the vibe. We get a lot of first dates and what we see is them staying all night, drinking, dancing, lounging, and conversing. If a place can check all of those boxes, it’s sure to be a good time.” —Nelson Kazan, owner, Pocket Change, Detroit
“For me, a great first-date bar only requires three basic things — low light, sound levels that allow for conversation, and attentive but low-intervention service. Good drinks, tunes, and a cool space are all bonuses, but that initial trifecta is key.” —Erik Hakkinen, owner, Roquette, Seattle
“Palates vary, some favor fine wine and others Fernet, so the ‘perfect first-date bar’ to us is ultimately defined by a feeling created by that bar. It’s a place where a couple returns not just for a second round, but to celebrate every milestone that follows. That lasting connection isn’t accidental; it’s carefully built by a team whose genuine hospitality makes every guest feel good. Few places embody this better than April Jean! Named as a heartfelt tribute to our Moms, our neighborhood cocktail bar takes the kind of unconditional care you’d expect from family and turns it into a perfect place for a first date and so much more. Our team prides itself on creating a welcoming and intentional environment where a first date can easily grow into a lifelong story.” —Joe Poz, co-owner, Bar April Jean, San Francisco
“A perfect first-date bar removes awkward pauses by giving you things to talk about in stages. At a tiki bar, you can arrive and talk about the vibe, then the drinks come out in colorful tiki mugs that spark conversation, and a few minutes later the rum loosens things up. When all the food hits the table at once, it creates another shared moment to connect. We design the experience to eliminate dead space so the conversation never has to feel forced.” —Jason Doo, chef and owner, Wusong Road, Cambridge, Mass.
“The perfect first-date bar is warm and cozy with great lighting and fun music that isn’t too loud. It should have plenty of bar seating to keep things casual, a friendly bartender, and good snacks in case the date’s going well and you stay for a few rounds.” —Leanne Favre, partner and beverage director, Dolores, NYC
“An important part of picking a great first-date spot is making sure the bar has plenty of options, whether your date drinks alcohol or not. For example, at the bar at Joon, we have both craft non-alcoholic and alcoholic cocktail options to sip and get to know each other, so no one feels awkward without a proper drink in hand. Shareable plates are also key. Having the option to enjoy a full meal if it’s going well — or dip out after appetizers if it’s not — is essential!” —Charlie McCall, beverage director, Joon, Vienna, Va.
“Here at Bar Henry, we get a lot of first dates. We think it’s because we’ve set the mood just right to get to know someone: the right lighting (dim but not too dark); great music (that you can still talk over but might have to lean in once in a while); inventive cocktails (that can serve as conversation starters); and enough energy in the air to see if there are any sparks. We’ve had multiple first dates here that lead to marriages and children so we think our formula is tried and true.” —Brett Rubin, owner, Bar Henry, Los Angeles
“A great cocktail bar sets the tone for a perfect first date without setting expectations. You only have to stay for one drink if the chemistry isn’t there. Or, suddenly, you realize hours have passed as conversation unfolds naturally. Good vibes, thoughtful drinks, and bartenders who know when to lean in and when to let the moment breathe. We have all felt those awkward lulls on a first date, and cocktails are natural conversation starters. At R&D, our menus are built to invite curiosity, nostalgia, and spark stories. Easygoing, intimate, and just enough check-ins to keep things flowing. Exactly what you want from a first date.” —Aaron Deary, beverage director and partner, R&D, Philadelphia
“I’d say a perfect first-date bar is all about the hospitality. You want to go to a place that will take care of you both without getting in the way of the conversation. The staff is attentive in taking your order and taking care of your service needs, while being aware enough to recede into the din of the background noise when they’re not needed. Additionally, the ideal first-date bar has a menu that has something for everyone: solid cocktails, decent beer and wine selection, thoughtful non-alcoholic options, as well as food options that you can order and share if the date goes well.” —Andrew Volk, owner, Hunt and Alpine Club, Portland, Maine
“Nice lighting and a variety of hot dogs.” —Jesse Plotsky, co-owner, Babes Bar, Bethel, Vt.
“What makes a perfect first-date bar is a combination of a few things: location, vibe, lighting, ambiance, options, quality, and staff. You need a place with professionals who will be attentive when necessary, where there is good music at a good volume, and where the atmosphere sets the mood and makes you feel like the best version of yourself. I also recommend going to a place you’ve been before, so you know the menu and how things work. If you’re going somewhere for the first time, I recommend going somewhere on the Michelin Guide or 50 Best list, as those are always safe choices without being boring.” —Jonas Martins, group head bartender, l’abeille and Kuma Hospitality Group, NYC
