There is nothing more iconic about summer than having a nice, cold drink in the late afternoon. However, because it’s a sauna outside and sweating is kind of gross, a nice dip in some H2O is just what the doctor ordered.
But just like a newly legal young adult in a massive liquor store, it can be a bit overwhelming to pick the perfect beverage to go with your aquatic adventure.
That’s why we killed the guesswork and broke it down for you. Save time now, drink more later.
The Pool – Shandy / Fruit-infused Beer
The water is: Like a bathtub, but when you’re not close to other bodies of water that’s just how the cookie crumbles.
The drink is: Refreshing and light, plus it won’t get you too sloshed.
The whole experience is: A great day among friends, as long as you avoid the group of demon children having a pool noodle fight.
The Lake – Favorite Macro Brew
The water is: Probably a little toxic but who doesn’t like to live on the edge?
The drink is: A tall can (or case) of AMERICA.
The whole experience is: A blast to the past of summer camp swims. Make sure you bring your nephew to drive the boat.
The Gulf of Mexico – Margarita on the rocks
The water is: Gorgeous and *fingers crossed* oil-free.
The drink is: Tall, ice-cold, and boozefully delicious.
The whole experience is: The shit people write love songs about.
The East Coast Ocean – Mimosas
The water is: Kind of blue-ish brown but don’t question it.
The drink is: Perfect for watching the sunrise at 6:20 am.
The whole experience is: Great until those damn college kids roll in with their frisbees and their speakers blaring music.
The West Coast Ocean – Cabernet Sauvignon
The water is: SO blue. Seriously, how is it this pretty?
The drink is: Rich and decadent, just like the sunset.
The whole experience is: Totally worth selling my soul for.
The Harbor – Gin Cocktail
The water is: Definitely gross.
The drink is: Full of botanicals and spiciness, to take you on an exotic journey.
The whole experience is: Bringing the question of “is that smell boat paint or the smell of everyone’s midlife-crisis floating in the water?” Inhale the gin fumes instead.
On a Yacht – Sparkling Rosé
The water is: Not worth getting my clothes wet.
The drink is: The definition of what summer should be. Poppin’ and zesty.
The whole experience: Could only be improved by brunching while on the yacht.
On a Cruise – Daiquiri
The water is: A long way from the party deck.
The drink is: So good at keeping the alcohol hidden you won’t know the consequences of your actions until it’s too late.
The whole experience: Will have you asking the next morning, “what do you mean I got on stage and sang ‘Oops!…I Did It Again’???”
The Hot Tub – Frozen Piña Colada
The water is: Making you sweat like a sinner in church.
The drink is: Melting quickly.
The whole experience: Really makes us wonder why we sit in hot tubs since it’s already hellishly hot outside.
The Bathtub – Martini
The water is: Just warm enough and full of bubbles.
The drink is: However strong or dirty you desire it to be.
The whole experience is: Serene, peaceful, and doesn’t require you to smell like sunscreen.
The Water Park – Box of Wine
The water is: Definitely under-chlorinated.
The drink is: Not glass so nobody can stop the brakes on this train.
The whole experience is: Probably not worth whatever break you’re getting from the kids.
The Puddle Outside Your House – Favorite White Wine
The water is: Filthy and probably a breeding ground for mosquitos.
The drink is: Chilled to perfection.
The whole experience is: Stellar because you’re inside with the A/C on while everybody else sweats their brains out outdoors.
