Even though Mother’s Day is typically celebrated with quiche and ribbons and little tufts of baby’s breath, and maybe—just maybe—a Bellini or two, the rest of the Mom Calendar Year is a lot less glorious, or delicate, and a lot more realistic about the need for a glass of something strong at the end of the day.
In honor of some of the iconic heroines of recent TV mom history, we’ve put together a list of some of our favorites, as well as their chosen methods of loosening up after a long day of dealing with the inevitable hijinks and heartaches of a TV family.
Marge Simpson – THE SIMPSONS
But for a serious gambling addiction, Marge Simpson’s got a pretty spotless background. But when the family moves into a futuristic, completely automated house courtesy of everyone’s favorite fun-lovin’ supervillain Hank Scorpio, and Marge finds herself with nothing to do, she does what many a bored housewife has done before. Respect.
“Old” Christine Campbell – THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
We love JLD for a variety of roles (not least because she turns profanity into an art form on VEEP). But as a divorced single mom with a buffet of ridiculous troubles on her plate, girl’s gotta have a glass, or stein, of wine. (Note the World’s Best Mom cup.)
Olivia Pope – SCANDAL
OK so she’s not technically a mom on the show, but as a new mom in real life, we’re more than happy to pay some Mom’s Day respect to the queen of power wine guzzling.
Betty Draper – MAD MEN
Queen of cold delivery and that far away “What have I done with my life?” stare. Drinks like a class act, though.
Claire Dunphy – MODERN FAMILY
Quirky queen of a far less…intense family than the Drapers, and a blonde prone to open her mouth a bit wider when unruly kids needed to get shouted at. Between managing (mostly) hilarious dysfunction and running interference for Phil, mama earns a glass of wine. And she knows it.
Malory Archer – ARCHER
Everyone’s favorite espionage matriarch, rarely seen without a drink in her hand, or a cutting remark about everyone’s unending incompetency.
Lucille Bluth – ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Between this role and Archer, Jessica Walters does seem to be typecast as a stern, devastatingly straight-talking, heavy drinker type. In fact, Malory Archer is basically cartoon Lucille Bluth. And boy, do we love her for it.
Ramona Singer – THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY
Not a “character,” but absolutely a character on RHONY. If you know a thing about “Turtle Time,” or just those insane Ramona Eyes, you’ll respect why this mom is the poster child for Pinot Grigio.
Carmela Soprano – THE SOPRANOS
More often you’d see Carmela getting a plate of “cold past” or capicola out of the fridge for Tony, but sometimes, that poor beleaguered woman got to let her hair down. And, clearly, she didn’t f*ck around.
Nancy Botwin – WEEDS
Mom’s will go to great lengths for their kids. Helping them with science projects. Making 24 last minute cupcakes for a bake sale. Selling illegal weed. So even though she’s not taking a drink here, we’re still including Mary Louise Parker’s character as Chill Mom of Mother’s Day.