
We humans are a judgmental bunch. According to a study by the Association for Psychological Science, most of us form lasting impressions in less than a second of meeting someone new.
What, then, do friends, strangers, and bartenders think when we sidle up to the bar? Are our favorite drinks windows into our very souls?
Maybe. We consulted the experts, by which we mean ourselves and other people who drink a lot, to compile this comprehensive, by no means official, guide.
Here’s what your favorite cocktail says about you.
Long Island Iced Tea
You say, sing, or hashtag the words, “Sorry not sorry” at least once a day.
Negroni
You like peppering your sentences with foreign expressions like coup d’état and joie de vivre. You’re 90 percent sure you know what coup d’état means.
Margarita
You live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday. You are either 19 years old or a retiree enjoying your golden years in sunny Albuquerque, N.M.
Manhattan
Your favorite writer is David Foster Wallace.
Old Fashioned
Your favorite TV show is “Mad Men.”
Vodka & Red Bull
Your favorite movie is “Die Hard.”
Cosmopolitan
Your favorite recording artist is Natalie Imbruglia.
Vodka Soda
You work hard to stay healthy! You also end every night drunk, hungry, and searching for pizza.
Jägerbomb
You pronounce nice “noice,” think last call is for quitters, and have literally nothing to do tomorrow. Your name is either Brendan, Brandon, or Dave.
Mojito
You listened to Buena Vista Social Club on your way to the bar.
White Russian
You are 34 years old and live in your mom and dad’s basement.
Martini
You like feeling sophisticated and getting hammered.
Gin & Tonic
You are a classicist, colonialist, Spaniard, or just really tired and need a drink already.