We humans are a judgmental bunch. According to a study by the Association for Psychological Science, most of us form lasting impressions in less than a second of meeting someone new.

What, then, do friends, strangers, and bartenders think when we sidle up to the bar? Are our favorite drinks windows into our very souls?

Maybe. We consulted the experts, by which we mean ourselves and other people who drink a lot, to compile this comprehensive, by no means official, guide.

Here’s what your favorite cocktail says about you.

Long Island Iced Tea

Long Island Iced Tea

You say, sing, or hashtag the words, “Sorry not sorry” at least once a day.

Negroni

Negroni

You like peppering your sentences with foreign expressions like coup d’état and joie de vivre. You’re 90 percent sure you know what coup d’état means.

Margarita

Margarita

You live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday. You are either 19 years old or a retiree enjoying your golden years in sunny Albuquerque, N.M.

Manhattan

Manhattan

Your favorite writer is David Foster Wallace.

Old Fashioned

Old Fashioned

Your favorite TV show is “Mad Men.”

Vodka & Red Bull

Vodka Red Bull

Your favorite movie is “Die Hard.”

Cosmopolitan

Cosmopolitan

Your favorite recording artist is Natalie Imbruglia.

Vodka Soda

Vodka Soda

You work hard to stay healthy! You also end every night drunk, hungry, and searching for pizza.

Jägerbomb

Jagerbomb

You pronounce nice “noice,” think last call is for quitters, and have literally nothing to do tomorrow. Your name is either Brendan, Brandon, or Dave.

Mojito

Mojito

You listened to Buena Vista Social Club on your way to the bar.

White Russian

White Russian

You are 34 years old and live in your mom and dad’s basement.

Martini

Martini

You like feeling sophisticated and getting hammered.

Gin & Tonic

Gin and Tonic

You are a classicist, colonialist, Spaniard, or just really tired and need a drink already.