Relationships are… complicated. Between Tinder dates gone wrong and blind dates that make you just want to SCREAM, being in a relationship can seem like a stretch.
But then something changes. You find someone who is like that bartender who makes your drink perfect every time. You like this person even more than you love your trusty corkscrew. This special person is the one worth sharing the bottle with. And suddenly, while you were on Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook, 10 years passed and now someone needs to change the baby’s diapers while someone else takes the toddler to school.
Love is a perfect pour and it’s only fitting to honor the many stages of your relationship with the perfect drink pairing. Here’s to true love and good booze.
The “Talking” Stage – Pilsner
Oh, the art of “talking.” Nobody knows what any of it actually fucking means (Dating? Friends? Friends with benefits??), but that’s O.K. because before you dive all in on an official date, the two of you can sip on some pilsners with no worries of commitment on the horizon. Here’s to “watching” Netflix together with lackluster takeout and not stressing about meaningless terms with your simple, uncomplicated pils.
The First Date – Craft Cocktail
It’s your first official date and it’s time to complete your look with a drink that is as fine as the outfit you managed to put together after discarding unworthy alternatives for upwards of three hours. Sometimes a front is necessary on the first date, so whip out a French 75 or an old fashioned to blow away your date. Your credit card will most definitely moan in disbelief, but at least you’re fancy.
The Second Date – Sauvignon Blanc
You managed to survive the first date and your new paramour seems interesting enough to give it another whirl. #Blessed! You don’t want to go too wild on the second date, so a lighter Sauvignon Blanc will keep things fresh and exciting.
The First Month – Local IPA
A month has passed and you’re still willingly hanging out with this person and testing the temperature of this kiddie pool of romance the two of you are swimming in. What better way to commemorate your budding love than a trip to your local-ish brewery? Those who drink flights together, stay together.
The Sixth Month – Malbec
This mini-milestone is like being surrounded by a sky full of rainbows, with butterflies flitting around your head in a truly majestic way. A Malbec is deep, it’s peppery, and it’s just like you and your lover on your six-month anniversary.
The Long-Term Stage – Bourbon
You and your significant other are in pretty deep and it feels like just yesterday when you had that first date enjoying cocktails you definitely couldn’t actually afford. But now, times are better and showing off is a thing of the past. A solid bourbon while sitting next to the fire is just what you need to cuddle with your bae.
The Engagement – Sparkling Rosé
The sun is setting over the horizon as you and your lover embrace the ocean breeze, closing out a stunning summer night. Suddenly, they whip out a rock beyond your wildest, Pinterest-inspired dreams. You say “yes” (obvi) and saber open a bottle of sparkling rosé because what’s an engagement without a little bubbly and what’s a summer without a bottle of rosé???
The Marriage – Champagne
Sure, marriage may just be a contract between two parties committing themselves for the rest of eternity (gulp), but where’s the romance in that? This union is all about true love and precisely crafted centerpieces straight from your secret wedding board. It’s time to begin the first page of your marriage with a pop from only the finest bottle of Champagne.
The Silver Anniversary – Rioja
Twenty-five years later and your relationship is still floating down the stream of true love. How adorable. You’ve probably had some kids at this point who make you both want to lose your minds, but that’s just how the cookie crumbled. Thankfully you decided to age a case of Rioja (because you’re classy at dinner parties) and the final bottle is just calling your name. Forget about the mortgage and drink to 25 more amazing years.
The Golden Anniversary – Napa Cabernet
Let’s get one thing straight — 50 years is a long time to do anything, let alone be tied to another person. You’ve been through the best of wines and the worst of wines, but no matter the storm blazing over you, your other half has been the umbrella that keeps you dry. That Napa Cabernet you picked up on your adventure to wine country is begging to be uncorked for your pleasure.
The Diamond Anniversary – Bordeaux
When you said you were in it for the long haul, the two of you truly meant it. The occasion of your 60th anniversary requires a drink that goes beyond a well-designed label or some fancy narrative about the wine. This anniversary calls for a Bordeaux; maybe you’ve been keeping one in the basement for this special night. Break out your most gorgeous stemware or even your favorite coffee mugs because tonight is your night. Cheers!