Aries
Please make sure your seatbelt is fastened and tray tables are up as we navigate a little bit of turbulence the first half of April. Mercury is in retrograde and the bumps will be good and not so good but the not so good is not so bad. Feel me? Career-wise, you need to make a decision. Because this month you are going to be challenged with outlying negative mojo. But once you make that all-important decision to move forward, do not take your eyes off the prize and you will be able to weather the storm so that by the 15th, when things mellow out, you’ll be in like flint with more money in your pocket than you thought. Knowing you’ll be flush by month’s end, invest in a nice bottle of soft, deep, and weighty Scotch whisky like a Macallan 12 Year. This is a great drink to unwind with when things are tough and to sip in celebration when things are swell, taking in the calming peaty nuances.
Taurus
Good for you! You have planetary strength in your eastern sector this month and Mercury is gonna boost those finances. In addition, you’ll have a choice of career options which you will have plenty of time to weigh out because the eclipse this month is going to put relationships on hold. You are also in tune with your health more than usual this month so explore your options. Go to a good beer store and get a mixed case of suds. You’ll be fine on those calories because you’ll be in the gym so much you’ll burn them off. Let the beer geeks walk you through some choices and have an open mind. Every evening as you weigh your options, try a different brew for a different perspective.
Gemini
Like Roxy Music says, “Love is the Drug” and can be complicated. The ups and downs are dizzying. But your are a Gemini and can weather an emotional storm. This month you will put those skills to work. Mercury is in retrograde for you in April and you will need to put career over relationships for a hot minute. The eclipse this month will inspire the confidence to do what’s right when balancing work and personal life. If you play your cards right you’ll come out on top with some money in your pocket and a significant other waiting in the wings. Celebrate love and money at the end of the month with a bottle of bubbs. You secured your domestic life so have a domestic wine. Get a bottle of Schramsberg Blanc de Blancs made with all Chardonnay from Napa. Juicy, round, and full of promise, just like your future.
Cancer
With Mercury in retrograde, the solar eclipse this month will give you the energy to keep organized. And you’ll need it. April will force you to keep focused on independence as well as social skills. This will be a yo-yo month for you, Star Sign, but you will rise above. Keep an eye on those finances and don’t go out too much for too long as health is also in retrograde this month. Hit up that OJ for some vitamin C and grab a bottle of Prosecco for Mimosas at the end of the month when you come out on top.
Leo
This Mercury in retrograde is getting into everybody’s business this month. But for you, Leo, you will roar through your Career House in April. You’ll be that employee who gets high-fived from the elevator to your desk. You’re a boss even if you’re not. This confidence will prop up your social skills for real this month and that might get in the way of your relationships. So keep it all in balance when the staff wants you to meet them for drinks after work. Buy a round of session beer for the crew because you’ll be flush with cash. Sessions have lower alcohol and you can still go home and maintain. Solid.
Virgo
There will be some cosmic confusion (sounds like a cool band name) in your life this month, but you are a Virgo and you know how to keep things cool and copacetic. You’ll have the cash flow to clear out some debt and your love life will take a turn for the romantic. Keep your health up through romance (wink nudge) but after you are relieved of some debt, don’t go back down that path. Be romantic while not breaking the bank with an affordable Bordeaux. You can spend under $20 for a soft, elegant Merlot-based blend and still get the classic Bordeaux label. Grab some cheese and meats from Trader Joe’s and dress it up nice on a plate. Put on some Sade and, well, we’ll just leave you two alone.
Libra
It’s time to get back to work like Rihanna. You have had some relaxation vaca-style but a collab is on the horizon and it’s time to focus. You’ll be doing a lot of negotiating this month but all for a good cause — your future. So stay focused and get what you want out of the deal. Mercury in retrograde will tempt you to put things off for romantic reasons but don’t worry — it looks like they will be there when you seal the deal. It’s spring and you are all about spring so when you are at that wine bar with your future business partner crunching numbers, keep things calm with a bottle of rosé from Provence. Clean and crisp with floral notes and hints of bright berry fruit and low alcohol, it pairs well with salads, which you should order cuz you need to keep it lean this month. That damn retrograde. Don’t worry, you’ll have more time to yourself again soon.
Scorpio
There is something awesome on the horizon for you, Scorpio. It may not look like it now but you are in for a career change. That’s not a bad thing. This is a career change for the better and in the form of a job offer. Money will be a bit lean and you can thank that damn Mercury in retrograde for that but you have a strong personal support system that will get your through any nettles you get snagged in along the way. Stay focused and don’t go out too much. Use that support system and cook at home with some Netflix and Chill scenarios. April is the month of Montepulciano. It is affordable and, with its medium-bodied structure and soft berry notes and lean tannin, it will pair with any meal. Next month you’ll be able to celebrate.
Sagittarius
April is all about that House of Family. Are you getting married? Congrats! Are you entering into a new thing? Congrats! Either way, domestic issues take precedence over work this month. Your love life will be a bit chaotic in April but in a good way, i.e., planning a wedding or that fun new love honeymoon vibe (like the second half of a Judd Apatow film). You’ll see an uptick in funds as your hard work pays off at your job. Enjoy the happy chaos. This moth, pair a Pinot Grigio with your love life. With notes of pear and lemon zest, it’s clean and zippy just like those crazy-in-love texts you’re sending to your bae.
Capricorn
Damn, Sea Goat, looks like you will come out on top with this Mercury retrograde messing around with all the other signs. You will see a large influx of cash in April through auspicious career changes. Your romance house this month is solid as a rock like Ashford & Simpson, and have you been working out? We know how stubborn you can be so just let this month glide and treat yourself for once with a bottle of Russian River Pinot Noir. They are bit pricey but you’re worth it. Pinot from this area is soft and and chewy with fleshy notes of cherry mingling with savory hints of mushroom and rose petals, just like you, grounded like the Earth sign you are with poetic notes like the month you’re about to have.
Aquarius
Put on the blinders because you gotta focus this month, dear water bearer. Finances will a bit tight but that’s cool because they will be tied up in a new business venture. Your profit projections look good so this lean month will yield cash flow down the road. Good for you! April is all about collaboration, and your personal life will take a temporary backseat. Priorities, am I right? After the eclipse, invest in a well-priced bottle of Cognac. Why? Because you’ll be doing a lot of business dealing this month, and pouring your colleagues a dram of caramel-hued spirits will make everyone happy and motivated. Hey, it works on TV.
Pisces
Like Kanye says, I ain’t sayin’ you a gold digger. This month you are going to get into a relationship with someone whose money is long, know what I’m sayin’? Now this may not be a love thing but a business thing. But either way, who cares? You will have plenty of opportunities in the coming months to make your income stronger than it is now, but for now, ride out this new venture you got going on. And if they want to splurge, let them. I mean, don’t go crazy, but a nice bottle of high-end Napa Cab at a steakhouse wouldn’t be so bad, right? Keep the vintage somewhat young and make sure it’s an estate wine. You’ll impress your guest, and don’t worry — they can afford it.
