Fall is a double-edged sword. Sure we have beautiful, fall weather and a reason to drink all things pumpkin, but with fall comes something way greater than a pricey latte.
It’s a season so dangerous, the kids these day have a name for it — “Cuffing Season.” Cuffing Season is the phenomenon where those young and old seek serious relationships once the cooler months come around. The idea comes from people being “cuffed” or tied down.
Millennials aren’t the only people at risk either. Anyone can easily become trapped in the Cuffing Season travesty. Not only are they stuck in these relationships, but when Valentine’s Day comes around, many of those who haven’t yet been afflicted don’t survive.
Don’t let yourself become victim to Cuffing Season. Save yourself—Look around and realize that the only thing you need to be cuddling up with is a beautifully rich and luxurious merlot.
Wine doesn’t judge what you wear.
And it won’t be mad when you judge it by its label, either.
Wine will never judge you for eating the whole pizza alone.
If it’s the perfect pairing, wine will tell you to embrace it and dig in.
Wine will always be ready to “Netflix and chill” (and will actually watch Netflix with you).
Finally, you can finish that episode of Orphan Black you tried to start three significant other’s ago.
Wine LOVES it when you drink the whole bottle.
Don’t let wine languish in the bottle as it turns into vinegar. Live in the NOW.
Wine is totally down with you seeing other people. In fact, sharing is caring.
Red, white, rosé? We all need variety every now and then. Don’t be shamed for doublefisting.
Wine will never talk back.
A quality extremely hard to find these days.
Wine won’t ask you when the last time you went to the gym was.
Wine will appreciate the strength you have from your battles with tough corks.
Wine is always open for you to have a bitch fest about work.
Yes, wine wants to hear all about that bitch Felicia and her expense reports.
Wine is always open for you to have a bitch fest about literally anything.
Wine totally thinks you’re 100 percent cuter than Felicia.
Wine doesn’t mind that you know what you want and won’t stop until you get it.
Your tenacity shows that you’re decisive, and wine finds that to be a major turn on.
Wine doesn’t need constant attention. It will always wait for you.
Whether it’s a perfectly chilled fridge or a rack on your countertop, wine is ready when you are.
Wine always puts your needs first.
It’s all about you and will always be about you. #Priceless.
Wine will always get along with your mother and her crazy antics.
In fact, your mother will probably adore your new grape lover more than she adores you.
Wine actually appreciates your crude humor.
Finally, somebody thinks you’re as hilarious as you do.
Wine doesn’t care if you want it to be the “big glass” or “little glass.”
All that wine wants is to be as close to you as possible.
Wine will never bullshit you and say those jeans from last year still fit.
If that’s not true love, we don’t know what is.
And if you don’t take this advice and still jump on the speeding train that is Cuffing Season…
Wine will always be there when that person breaks your heart in February.
And the minute you slam the door, wine will be whispering in your ear, “Don’t worry sweetie, everything is going to be okay.”
