With the holidays over and 2015 coming to a close, it’s that time of year when we all start shouting from the rooftops “new year, new me.” While we would love to say we can accomplish all of these lofty resolutions simply with our own willpower, I think lying to yourself is taking a step in the wrong direction of “being a better you.” The truth is that everyone needs a sidekick. Here are the booze pairings to help you reach the 2016 finish line.
Lose Weight – Vodka Soda
Kiss the eggnog goodbye. Gone are the sugary mixers and darker liquors. It’s all clear and light from here on out. But we get it, sometimes you just need to splurge. You met those daily goals on your Fitbit? Add a wedge of lime—you totally earned it.
Healthier Diet – Sauvignon Blanc
Eating healthy isn’t about not eating, it’s about making smarter choices. Skip the richer reds for a grassy Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. Better yet, make it a biodynamic, organic, grassy Sauvignon Blanc. It’s practically the same as kale but with less heartache and regret after consumption.
Travel More – Rioja, Chianti, and Burgundy
So you want to travel more? Join the club. Anybody can hop on a plane and go to Florida for spring break, but we want to travel. Grab your passport and your suitcase because it’s time to go on the greatest vino adventure there is. Explore the Spanish vineyards that produce some of the most delicious Riojas. Bask in the class of France’s Burgundy. Then bring it all home with a stay in the absolutely stunning wine country of Tuscany. The wanderlust is strong.
Get a new job – Bourbon
Let’s just be clear on this. We’re not talking about that “bourbon” you drank in college. No, no, no we are talking about that bottle you keep staring at in the liquor store praying to the lord above that it will get marked down one day (because that’s going to happen) so you can finally purchase it. Bad bitches get their bourbon on, and it’s time you did too. You know what else bad bitches do? Get great jobs. Two birds with one stone.
Save money – Box Wine
When it comes down to it, we all are willing to cut some corners to stash some cash for the future. Starbucks? We don’t really need it. Clothes? So far so good. Wine? LOL that’s a joke of course because we’re not giving up the wine. Thankfully there are now great boxes of wine that aren’t large, white, and stocked to the ceiling in a college fraternity house. It’s time for us to buy some quality vino in bulk and reap the discounts.
Family time – Sparkling Wine
There is nothing that brings a family together like a few bottles of sparkling wine. The dramatic ~pop~ and the festive bubbles are perfect for any occasion. Make Monopoly Night fun again with a new family tradition that will cause you to not hate everyone by the second time you’ve passed “go.”
Mental Health Upgrade – Zinfandel
As a society we are all a bit too nonchalant when it comes to our mental health. We drive ourselves nuts with constant emails and social media posts and often feel the need to keep up with the celebrity squads instead of keeping up with ourselves. In the words of Donna Meagle, “Treat yo’ self.” It’s important for us to realize when we’re overworked or need a day for ourselves, to take it and run with it. There’s no better mental health juice than a luxurious Zinfandel. Go on, take a sip. It will coddle you like a warm blanket and make you feel like the majestic unicorn that you are.
Less Stressed – Merlot
When that clock strikes 12:01 you will (hopefully) be less stressed than you were in 2015. Congrats. You did it. Now it’s time to keep the stress-free streak going. Think “Merlot.” Just the word itself is calming. But seriously, keeping a bottle of Merlot on hand for your post-work evenings and BFF time will keep you on a relaxed track for 2016. Sure, we might not have science to back it up, but we have personal experience, which is basically the same thing. The only thing we stress out about these days are lost corkscrews — join us.
Do what you want (Say no) – Tequila
If you ask me, 2016 should be the year when we all stop being a bunch of “yes” people. If you don’t want to do something, you have the control to say no. It’s a glorious concept. When people tell you it’s not acceptable to have tequila at the book club you stand up on that coffee table and tell them no. Be proud of your choice drink and free yourself of the haters.
Get A Significant Other – Pinot Noir
“This is the year I’m going to be in a relationship” says me January 1st of every year at the crack of dawn when the hangover hits. Relationships are good but wine is better. Wine doesn’t take up space in the bed. Wine doesn’t text you endlessly when you’re busy. Wine doesn’t swipe around on some dating app when you’re sitting right next to them. Find romance in all of the right places with a top shelf Pinot Noir. Your sanity will thank you.
Learn a Language – Bordeaux
If you’re like us you try this one every year only to see yourself give up before Rosetta Stone even arrives in the mail. Learning a language can be hard, especially when daily life is vying for your attention. However, we’d be lying if we said we didn’t want to learn how to speak some French for our wine getaways this year. When trying something new, it’s great to start with a small and comfortable step: Bordeaux. You know it well and you know how to drink it well, so the rest should just come naturally, right? Give it another glass and see.
Kill Social Media – Rosé
It’s time we all kill FOMO and stop mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and Facebook. No more will we look at our frenemies sipping pink in The Hamptons and drool at their cool lives. NO WE WILL STAND TALL and do our own drinking of Rosé because that is what we want to do and we’re going to live our lives instead of creeping on everybody else’s. Rant over — open the bottle already.
