Going to the bar for a drink, whether alone or with friends, is a great way to spend a night out, but that night can quickly be ruined when you come in contact with any of the following people. These are the people who can destroy one of your favorite spots or help ensure you never return to a new place you’re trying. While we’ve all come in contact with one or more of these people in our nights out, let’s just hope we’ve never been one of them. Here they are, the 25 worst people at the bar…
The Fight Instigating Bro
“I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer…Looks like we’re almost outta beer.” You are not a character in Dazed and Confused. This is not a movie. We bumped into you, get over it. Stop looking for a fight.
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This is the person who just assumes the bar is so crowded they don’t have to tip. Trust us, just because there are a ton of ones on the bar does not mean the bartender is going to get confused and think your tip is among the pile. You may want to check your drink on the next round.
The Inappropriate Toucher
Bars get crowded and we all need to get by, but while it’s one thing to tap someone on the shoulder, it’s quite another to touch a complete stranger in an uncomfortably personal way, as if you’ve known them for years. Just because a bar is crowded, doesn’t mean you get to grope.
The Adult Bombers
A Jager Bomb or Irish Car Bomb might have been fun in college, but you’re an adult now, so act like it and drink your age.
The Stool Monopolizer
This is the guy or gal who is ‘using’ the stool next to them as a seat for all their stuff — heaven forbid they lay it on the floor — and when you ask them to move it, they claim they’re waiting for a friend. Thirty minutes later the only friend they’re waiting for is their Chanel bag that’s been seated right next to them.
The Round Welcher
This is the person who offers to buy a round, and then realizes they don’t have enough money when it’s time to pay…sticking their friends with the bill. A subspecies of this type of person is the one who never intended to pay in the first place.
The Jukebox Junky
Just because you happen to have twenty dollars worth of change in your pockets – but seriously, why do you have $20 in change in your pockets? – does not mean you have the right to subject the entire bar to EDM for the remainder of the evening. Let some other people choose some songs.
The Bumbling Drink Carrier
We get that you are a standup guy or gal because you offered to buy your friends a round of drinks, but when you bring those drinks back, don’t be a doofus and carry them at waist height, where any slight bump will spill liquid on you and others. Make like a server and hold them above your head. Walk carefully!
The Friend Who Doesn’t Help The Bumbling Drink Carrier
Your friend has offered to buy your entire table a round a drinks, and you send him or her to the bar alone…you folks are the worst. How is one person supposed to carry three, four or more drinks back to the table in a crowded bar? Spilling them all over people, that’s how. Meanwhile you just sit there, waiting to be served like royalty.
We get it, Fireball is a popular shot — with the kids. That does not mean you need to order it too. If you insist on shots at the bar with friends, try a standby like whiskey or tequila, and don’t make a show of it. Basically, act like you’ve been here before. There’s no need to announce to the rest of the bar that you’re doing shots.
The Seat Hoverer
This person seems to make their home at crowded restaurant bars. We understand that you’re waiting for a seat at a table, but don’t hover and lean on the seats of the people who are actually choosing to sit and eat at the bar. You’ll get your personal space when you’re seated, but until then respect the occupier of that space as if it were yours. The Obnoxious Seat Hoverer is one who takes things to the next level by making persistent eye contact with the person who is currently sitting in the seat they are targeting. This is not OK.
The Stick In The Mud
Lots of bars specialize in certain drinks, from beer to cocktails to wine. Don’t be that person at one of these bars who hates the joint simply because it doesn’t carry the type of drink you like. If you’re at a wine bar, but prefer beer, ask for some help! It’s far better to try something new than to sit there complaining all night.
The Loud Cellphone Talker
If your friends have yet to arrive and for some reason can’t find the place you’ve chosen, please go outside to give them directions. Texting works wonders as well!
The Serial Drink Orderer
This type of person is particularly annoying to bartenders at a busy bar. When ordering drinks you should place your entire order at once. Whether or not the bartender can use that info to consolidate their work or not when preparing your order doesn’t matter. If they can’t, no harm done, but if they can…you’ve really wasted everyone’s time. Either way, providing the bartender with the entire order up front allows them to handle your order in the way they see fit.
The Cash Waver
Perhaps the most obnoxious of all bar patrons, the cash waver elicits groans from every other person in the establishment (with the exception, perhaps, of other cash wavers who may be present). Waving a large denomination bill in an attempt to let the bartender know that you will be tipping well isn’t a clever strategy; it’s a sad one.
Many bars are loud. Shocking, we know. You aren’t helping anyone by shouting across the bar to your friends, or even worse, shouting for the bartender’s attention.
The Pick & Roller
These are the folks who try to hold more than one space at a busy bar, pushing others out of the way so that their friends can wait next to them. Be polite and let other people make their way to the bar as it only takes one person to order.
The Group Playing Duck-Duck-Goose
These are the groups who insist on forming large circles in the center of crowded establishments. We realize you all want to look at each other in the face, but you’re taking up a ton of room, much more than you need.
Before telling someone what to order, ask if they’d like your advice. If your friend made a poor decision they’ll find out soon enough. We’re guessing that the last thing they want to hear from you — unless they ask! — is your personal take on why they made such a poor order.
The Holier Than Thou
This is the person who realizes that the bar doesn’t have their preferred wine, beer or spirit selection — or heaven help us all, barrel-aged cocktail of choice — and immediately makes a scene about it. Don’t worry, the only person who looks like a snob is you.
The Drink Aficionado
This person corrects their bartender on the proper way to make the drink they just ordered. If you think you make the drink so well, make it at home, and for pete’s sake, don’t order it out in the future. If the bartender makes a serious mistake, like using the wrong spirit, obviously that’s a different situation and you should speak up.
The Person Who Never Learned How To Share
If the bar you’re at has games, you don’t have the right to continue playing just because you got there first. The same rules you (hopefully) learned in preschool apply: share your toys with others.
The Couple With The Baby
You are not cool parents for bringing your child to the bar…in fact, we all know you’re just trying to save on the babysitter. And don’t ask people to keep it down or watch their language…it’s a bar.
The Bathroom Line Cutter
You’re at a bar, so you know what that means? Everyone has to pee. Just because you have to pee does not mean you have to go more badly than anyone else in line, so don’t even think about cutting. This is especially true if you’re a lady cutting the men’s room line. The men in line may smile politely, but trust us, they are not amused.
The Bathroom Fornicators
Just because you’ve fantasized about hooking up in the bathroom stall ever since you read 50 Shades of Grey does not mean you should act it out while other people are waiting to use said stall. If the bar is dead, have at it, but in all seriousness, why is this a fantasy of yours? The bedroom is much more pleasant.
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