Every year, the self-help industry coaxes billions of dollars from people by promising to help them become a better version of themselves. But what if I told you that there is a better, faster, and less expensive way to self-improve? That’s right, friends — I am talking about alcohol. Now, some of you may think […]
I have a dear, dear friend. She is abundantly clever and endlessly empathetic. She is someone with whom I would always choose to spend time, because I’ve never been bored in her presence, because she reminds me to question the status quo, and because she makes me feel like my favorite version of myself. We […]
I really love how we human beings are so inclined to look out for one another. Why, just the other day, a perfect stranger informed me that smoking was bad for me, and another stunned me with the revelation that I’d be prettier if I smiled! People are so NICE to one another, and they […]
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I’m not even talking about Christmahanukwanzaa, with its compulsory family time and gift-related anxiety. It’s almost New Year’s Eve! New Year’s Eve is a night to set off fireworks and sparklers and to guzzle Champagne until you start seeing stars everywhere, even with your eyes closed.
The origin of the handshake is often attributed to the desire to display the absence of a weapon. It was a gesture of peace, but also of trust. Showing a new friend that your right hand was weaponless was like saying, ”Hello, how are you? FYI, I am NOT going to attempt to harm you in the next […]
It’s beginning to sound a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. In a store or in a bar, no matter where you are, there’s a Christmas song playing near you. (Feel free to sing the above. You know the melody.) And I don’t know about you, but the only way I can get through the […]
Well, the election ended and Trump won. But God hasn’t abandoned us totally! There’s still alcohol! In the words of Donald J. Trump, 45th president-elect of these United States, ”Now, it’s time to bind the wounds of division, come together as one people . . .
It’s three in the morning, and the unthinkable has happened — we have run out of booze. That’s the downside of spontaneity; when we left the bar and impulsively decided to continue the night at your apartment, we underestimated our own staying power. We underestimated our anger, and our indulgent misery. We are both nursing […]
I would have sold my soul for a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. It was the first warm day of a spring that had finally replaced a long, unusually harsh winter. In the streets, you could catch not-infrequent glimpses of bare arms and legs.