As Christmas Day gets closer and Christmas parties wrap up, the urge to wear that tacky Christmas sweater one last time grows ever stronger. For as the clock strikes midnight on the 25 of December, that sweater is just going to be another thing taking up space in your closet for 11 months. But as you slip that sweater over your head, you may as well know — your choice of tacky broadcasts a lot about the type of person you are, and about the types of drinks you prefer.
The Collegiate Sweater
No one will fault you for repping your alma mater. Hell, people will probably even strike up a conversation because of your sweater. You also won’t be the tackiest person in the room. What you will be, however, is that person who hasn’t moved on from college drinks like hunch punch. What’s in it? Who knows.
The Animals Sweater
Deers drinking beers! Deer + Bear = Beer! Get it? It’s funny because animals shouldn’t be drinking alcohol! You also will probably be drinking a beer, so you might as well make it a 40.
The Grandma Sweater
Don’t hate on grandma because her style stayed in the 1970s. These sweaters can be cool in their own right. They can also be worn as a tacky sweater, but if you’re the type of person who has one of these sweaters in your closet, you’re probably drinking Port.
The Sweater You Might Actually Like
Hey, there are some good designs out there when it comes to Christmas sweaters. Some can get pretty intense, and you’ve got to take the time to appreciate that. Sure, you’ll wish you could wear this more than a couple times a year, and you might rock it on a chilly February day because you do you. You also do what you want when it comes to drinking, and you’re probably drinking that drink everyone hates on but you think is actually pretty good, like Sriracha vodka.
The Over-The-Top Sweater
You know the saying: Big sweaters mean big personalities. Or something like that. You treat your tacky Christmas sweater with care, most likely because you made it yourself. You’re always drinking something just as over the top as well, and no one is surprised when it comes out of a tiki mug.