Anyone who’s ever worked in retail is well acquainted with the sonic torture that comes with the holiday season. For a full month — often longer — virtually every business has the same handful of singsong Christmas tunes blasting on repeat. As great as Burl Ives is, the whole charade gets old fast.
But at bars, a different sort of pervasive audio phenomenon persists year-round, and it takes many forms depending on the establishment. We’re talking about those select earworms that somehow slip onto the speakers night after night, and drive the whole staff up a wall. If it’s not bad enough that bartenders have to deal with hordes of drunk patrons, the occasional rude interaction, and lousy tippers, hearing the whole bar erupt into a slurred chorus of “Wagon Wheel” at 100-plus decibels for the 10th night in a row only adds insult to injury.
Whether it’s karaoke nights catering to the same clientele week after week or that one group that thinks it’s funny to play Nickelback and Creed back to back every time they see a jukebox, there are many ways that the same few songs fill a bar night after night. So what are the tracks that drive hospitality workers to the brink of insanity? We hit up 10 bartenders from around the country to find out.
The songs bartenders are sick of hearing:
- “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division
- “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers
- “Who Let the Dogs Out?” by Baha Men
- “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey
- Anything by the Backstreet Boys
- “Strawberry Letter 23” by Shuggie Otis
- “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers
- “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond
- “Closing Time” by Semisonic
- “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass
“I’m gonna say ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ by Joy Division because it plays all the time at bars I’ve worked at around NYC. It isn’t a Top 40 track, so customers will always ask what it is, but at this point I’m sick of hearing it and talking about it. I’ll go postal if I hear that sh*t again.” —Conor Henry McNamara, bartender, The York, NYC
“‘Mr. Brightside’ by The Killers. I’ve worked years as a karaoke bartender, mostly because my shifts happened to fall on karaoke nights. I won’t complain because they were usually Sunday-Tuesday shifts and were industry-heavy, but the majority of customers were millennials and who all grew up listening to the same stuff. Let’s expand our musical repositories, please.” —Sam Park, head bartender, L’Opossum, Richmond, Va.
“‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’ It’s always been a bad song. It makes no sense, and why anyone would play it other than to make people lose their minds is beyond me. Still, I’ve seen people put it on repeat 10 times in a row on a dive bar’s juke box just to watch the souls melt out of every human in the place over 20 minutes.” —Lou Charbonneau, beverage director, Xenia Greek Hospitality, Boston
“‘Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. This one has been a staple since the ‘80s, dominating karaoke bars and jukeboxes. If the crowd picks the music it’s almost guaranteed to be played. After a few drinks, I think people crave familiarity — songs they can shout-sing to — but ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’ is corny. It doesn’t set the mood. It just signals that the bar is on autopilot. For the record, there is no ‘South Detroit’ (unless you’re partying in Windsor, Ontario).” —Allison Everitt, founder, Fast Friends, Detroit
“I love music — almost all music. It’s not necessarily the music itself that annoys me, but the people that know the words to songs and think they can carry a tune. The majority of them can’t. I also don’t like music when it doesn’t fit the vibe of the bar. With that in mind, I don’t want to hear anything by the Backstreet Boys, or any boy bands for that matter. And as much as I love tiki, there are some Martin Denny songs with loud bird calls that come outta nowhere that drive me up a wall.” —Brian Miller, head bartender, Stockton Inn, Stockton, N.J.
“Shuggie Otis’s 1971 hit ‘Strawberry Letter 23’ feels like an all too forced attempt by Brooklyn bar owners to instill a sense of nostalgia for a time that most of their patrons have not and will not ever experience. I think Shuggie Otis is phenomenal and the song is great, but I’m haunted by the opening jingle due to its presence on every house-enforced playlist. Whether it was my earliest experiences working totally dead lunch shifts at a neighborhood bar, or crushing Saturday nights cocktailing, the song’s rhythm doesn’t fit the needs of most rooms it’s played in.” —Matt Kumar, bartender, Mr. Melo, Brooklyn
“In my experience, I find that popular alt or indie-folk songs become a little threadbare after a few spins. I’m thinking more specifically of tunes like ‘Ho Hey’ by The Lumineers. It’s pretty hokey for a supposed love song that takes place in New York City. The lyrics are banal, and I’m honestly just not a fan of many anthem songs.” —SC Baker, bar lead, Epiphany, Louisville, Ky.
“My answer is short and sweet: ‘Sweet Caroline.’ Why? I’m tired of hearing the ‘Bom! Bom! Bom!’” —Drew Furlough, bartender, Amazonia, Washington, D.C.
“‘Closing Time’ is the dumbest song to play at last call. Like, congratulations! — you’re all being gently kicked out to the sound of a song that’s about childbirth. Not last drinks, not bar tabs — literal birth. So, while you’re chugging the rest of your IPA, just remember that you’re vibing to a metaphorical uterus.” —Meagan Northcutt, bartender, Hauck’s Corner, Louisville, Ky.
“‘Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)’ by Looking Glass always cracks me up because it’s basically the unofficial theme song of every dive bar in Kansas City. I swear, no matter where you go, if there’s cheap beer, that song’s coming on. It reminds me of back home, but at this point, I’ve heard it so many times I feel like Brandy and I go way back.” —Nobian Henan, bartender, Happy Accidents, Albuquerque, N.M.
*Image retrieved from pavel siamionov via stock.adobe.com
