Everyone knows a Sharon.
The iconic wine mom, Sharon is the queen of sass, gossip, and going the extra mile in everything she does — sometimes even taking it a bit too far. It’s easy to hate Sharon, but in reality that’s because we’re all jealous of her “sipping through life” mentality. She’s strong. She’s blunt. She can double fist a California red and a glue gun as she finishes Timmy’s science fair poster (because you better believe Sharon’s going for the blue ribbon).
We all know a Sharon.
Maybe she’s behind you in the grocery store, filling her cart to the brim with magnums of Pinot Grigio while managing a screaming three year old. Or maybe Sharon’s the PTA president who rolls into the meeting after happy hour, armed to fight over who gets to direct the school play.
But above all, maybe there is a Sharon inside all of us — waiting for the perfect sip of Malbec to break free from the confines of her shell.
What is Sharon’s idea of perfect happiness?
For Sharon, perfect happiness is lying on a beach with a color-coded planner in one hand and a glass of chilled Sauvignon Blanc in the other.
What is Sharon’s greatest fear?
Sharon’s greatest fear is a plague that destroys all the grapevines across the globe. Gossiping about Shelley’s new haircut (HIDEOUS BTW) is not the same over IPAs. We’re crying just thinking about it.
What is the trait she most deplores in others?
Sharon absolutely HATES it when other people are complete lightweights and spill their guts after a single glass of Cabernet. Seriously, Tammy, pull yourself together.
What is Sharon’s current state of mind?
Right now, Sharon is a little stressed trying to plan the lacrosse team’s meals for the year and totally resents her husband for signing her up to be team mom, but isn’t letting it get her down because this $7 bottle of Chardonnay is LIT.
What is Sharon’s greatest extravagance?
Earning a wine cheat day — seven days in a row.
Which talent would Sharon most like to have?
Sharon wishes she could flick her wrist to turn her box of Merlot into a case of the finest Burgundy.
On what occasion does Sharon lie?
Sharon most definitely lies at her kids’ sporting events when asked, “Is that wine in your travel mug?” because she knows those other moms are just going to want her to share.
Who are Sharon’s heroes in real life?
Pinterest, Jennifer Aniston, and the waiters who know what a ~good pour~ is.
When and where was Sharon the happiest?
First day of spring break, 1987.
What is Sharon’s greatest regret?
Second day of spring break, 1987
What does Sharon consider her greatest achievement?
Sharon is totally proud of being a badass “Cool Mom” even if her kids aren’t old enough to realize it. One day they’ll learn.
What does Sharon most value in her friends?
Sharon loves her squad unconditionally for their wit, their ability to wear pajamas to the grocery store, and their passion for a beautiful glass of vino.
What is Sharon’s motto?
Never leave a glass of wine untouched and when all else fails — just screw it.
We are all Sharon.
