On this week’s episode of “Going Out With Jake Cornell,” Jake goes out with comedian, writer, and host of the “Betches Sup” podcast Milly Tamarez. The two discuss clubbing in Las Vegas, navigating queer vs. straight nightlife scenes, and the perks of being a picky eater.
Plus, why did Beyoncé host her birthday party at Dave and Busters? And who’s catfishing using Milly’s headshot? Tune in for all the details.
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Jake Cornell: Okay. So I’ve never been to Poppy Juice because it always sells out.
Milly Tamarez: Yeah.
J: And because it sells out, I feel like me taking a ticket as a…
M: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I get it. No, because I talked to Zach Zimmerman and he’s like, “I feel bad taking up space.” I have never been, but I’ve been, but I’m going with my queer POC friends Brian and Walter.
J: Right. And I feel like every time a Poppy Juice happens, my POC friends are all going and I’m like, “God bless.”
M: But you could go with them.
J: I know. I guess it was more like… Because I hadn’t heard about it until a couple months ago, I was bartending full time.
M: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.
J: But I was bartending, so I didn’t go out to events like that because I was working all the time. I was working nights. So then this summer when I started to have a little bit more free time…
M: Yeah. I feel like you really popped out this summer.
J: I started going out a lot more. I started going a lot more and I feel like this summer was the event of buy your tickets two weeks in advance, because it’s going to sell the f*ck out. And because of that, I was like, “I don’t want to get caught with a Poppy Juice ticket and someone I know who’s a queer POC being like, “I couldn’t go because it’s sold out.” And it’s like, “Well it’s a space for you to feel safe and comfortable, obviously take my ticket.” If I had bought it, I feel like that’s how it would’ve shaken down anyway.
M: I don’t know. But yeah. I don’t know. I hear what you’re saying, but I’m like…
J: But…
M: It doesn’t work like that. It’s not like-
J: Totally.
M: But I get it. Yeah. I get like if you go to that space and it’s just a whole bunch of white people, but it’s just like-
J: But also saying it’s hard.
M: Poppy Juice is a queer people of color dance event that happens at different halls and spaces and it’s pretty cool.
J: I’ve heard it’s amazing.
M: I didn’t go there, but I went to Bubble Tea, which is the Asian queer party-
J: Yes, I’ve seen this one a lot too.
M: They celebrated the Chinese lunar new year.
J: Sick.
M: And it had this big hall because I think it was year of the pig or boar, whatever-
J: Last year?
M: It was two, three years ago.
J: I only know because I went to the year of the pig during lunar year, went to Vegas and they did the Bellagio up for a year of the pig.
M: Yes.
J: And it was so f*cking sick. The Bellagio botanical gardens all for year of the pig was… Do I think the Bellagio does… It was-
M: It’s ridiculous.
J: It’s definitely a little appropriate, but it was like-
M: It’s a fountain. Well, no there a lot of Asian people that go to-
J: Oh, that’s so true.
M: … Vegas. Well, that’s like the whole thing of the MGM Grand. They changed the entrance. It used to be that you would walk in through the lion’s mouth, but that is bad in Chinese culture, so they put the lions on each side of the entrance of MGM Grand. So it’s like, they really-
J: That’s so interesting.
M: There’s a lot of Chinese culture in Vegas. And gambling is a big tourist attraction for Asian communities in Southern California and they go to Vegas. So it’s more like the Bellagio is like we’re in the middle of a desert. And it is like, my friend was watching the show was proud to be an American, water show and we’re in the middle of the desert and it’s just like what the f*ck is?
J: Do you go to Vegas a lot?
M: Well, I went to college in Southern California.
J: Oh. So it was like a little hop, skip, and a jump.
M: It was four hours away so I went twice and each time, speaking of nightclubs, each time I went, I went with at least 10 different girls from-
J: Absolutely not.
M: … 10 to 15-
J: I’m already out. I can’t travel that thick. That thick of a group, I would lose my mind.
M: I think we all learned, well, this is what happened. Vegas is a place where you can spend a lot of money, but you can also, especially if you’re a straight cis woman or just a cis woman, you cannot spend anything.
J: You cannot spend anything. I learned this about Vegas when I went to Vegas and I feel like it’s… People don’t know this. It’s like everything about Vegas is subsidized so that you have as much money available as possible to gamble. So Vegas subsidizes flights to Vegas, you can always fly to Vegas for cheap. The hotels are subsidized. Obviously, staying at the Bellagio is expensive as sh*t. If you’re down to stay at the Excalibur, it’s really not that expensive. I went to Vegas the year before, 2019, 2020 and… 2019. And the reason we were going was to see Gaga.
M: Oh, my God.
J: Which was heaven on earth. But it was not an… I wouldn’t say it was like… It’s not like I went for 11 bucks, but like-
M: It wasn’t like-
J: … it was not a cheap or it was not an expensive vacation because you can also, regardless of gender, you can sit at the slots-
M: And just get drinks.
J: … and get free drinks all day. So if that’s what you want, great. And then I think add in being a girl, you can get a lot more free sh*t.
M: Well, listen, my friend’s parents, my friend’s Cambodian and her parents live in Long Beach and they have a timeshare. There’s this one place called Jockey Club, which is still there, but it’s this one f*cking random hotel on the strip that has a 99 year lease set rent control. And it’s essentially, they built the strip around it. So like-
J: Wait, it’s in new Vegas, on the strip or is it-
M: On the strip, but it’s basically in the parking lot of the Cosmo. It’s so funny. And then it has a kitchen and sh*t. So me and my friends would go there, go to stop and shop, get a bunch of frozen pizza and hot dogs and then eat a bunch of sh*t, get these group meals and then go to the strip and hang out. And then some guy would come up to us all the time, guaranteed. This is what I mean by-
J: Totally.
M: … if you’re a cis woman. This is the normal-
J: The promoters.
M: The promoters are coming to you. If they see three girls, four girls, imagine 10, they’re like, “What are you doing tonight?”
J: You’re a table.
M: And then they are like, “Okay,” no, they’re like, “Okay, here’s your schedule.” And then multiple and then we like-
J: No sh*t.
M: Well, all of us will have different promoters come to us and then we compare and then we were looking up, but basically they’re like, and then especially if you’re super, super hot, they’ll be like, “Okay, you’re going to have dinner here free. Then you’re going to meet here. Then we’re going to go there. You’re going to have free drinks from 9 to 11.” Basically, they get you f*cking hammered and then this is crazy. So they’ll be like, “Okay, you can have a free drink at this cocktail bar from 9 to 10.” Then they’re like, “Okay. And then you can go to our club for free.” The club and the cocktail bar are on the other side or they’ll tell a bunch of… Depending on hotness too. It’s so f*cked up. It’s literally like cattle, but they’ll be like, “Okay, meet at this entrance.” And then basically the promoters have been out all day. So there’s literally like 60 women.
J: Oh, Jesus Christ.
M: And they tell you, “Wear heels.” You guys have to dress nice.
J: There’s a uniform.
M: So there’s a uniform of like… So you got to wear… So 60 women are waiting in the things for free drinks, all you can drink for two hours.
J: There you go.
M: You stand in the casino and then they’re like, “Okay, now we’re going to go to the club.” And then the club’s on the other side of the casino. So basically-
J: Which is… For those of you who haven’t listened to Vegas or listened-
M: If you ever listen to Vegas by Katy Perry, great song.
J: For those of you who have not been to Vegas.
M: Yes.
J: Getting from one side of some of the casinos to the other is like the win, it’s insane.
M: It’s a 15, 20 minute walk.
J: And it’s not a straight shot. It’s a maze.
M: It’s like a maze.. So basically it is like cattle with 60 women.
J: Oh, my God.
M: We are walking through all the slots and all the-
J: Two hours of open bar, like in.
M: Yeah. But no, no, no. Yeah. After we’ve had… We’re a little drunk and then they’re walking us and then basically, so all the guys will stop gambling look at, oh, okay. And then like, “Where are the women going?”
J: Oh.
M: They follow, bam, guys get in $45, $45 a head. Or $30 or whatever.
J: Following the 60 girl parade that they just-
M: 60 girls… 60 drunk girls going into a f*cking place.
J: Look, play the game. But that is so f*cked.
M: Yeah. It’s so f*cked. It literally… So then every night and then we’re broke. This is also terrible. I was 21.
J: Yeah. Yeah. Duh.
M: But I’m broke as f*ck. And like, “Okay, well, I only have an hour to get drunk. I’m going to drink four Blue Long Islands.”
J: Sorry. I’m feeling shocked. I’m not familiar, is a Blue Long Island-
M: Well, on the west coast, it’s called an Adios Motherf*cker. But on the-
J: Can I guess?
M: Okay, yeah guess.
J: Can I guess. I’m going to guess it is a Long Island iced tea, but instead of triple sec, it’s Blue Curacao.
M: You got it, honey.
J: Oh, wait-
M: But I don’t think there’s Coca-Cola-
J: Or is it Sprite?
M: … I think it’s Sprite and Blue Curacao.
J: I was going to say. But damn, I’m actually really f*cking proud of myself.
M: Yeah. No. I drink four, blackout-
J: Oh, my God.
M: … black out, black out and me and my friends… I went to a mostly women’s college too. So it was like we had no experience-
J: I’m picturing you f*cked up, blue teeth, blue tongue-
M: Blue teeth.
J: … looking like you ate a Smurf. Just like…
M: Oh, my God. Wild, wild, wild, wild, wild. I can’t walk because I’m wearing Forever 21 heels. And my titties are completely out. And then we have a f*cking buddy system because there’s 15 of us. We have a buddy system.
J: Yes, someone can go missing real quick. You can wake up-
M: Somebody that has… So then as soon as we get to the bar, my friend’s like, “I don’t like this. I’m going…” So, that’s my buddy-
J: There’s always f*cking one. There’s always one.
M: My buddy left me, everyone left. Our second time we were in Vegas, everyone left. I was completely blackout. And then they all got to the hotel and they’re like, “Where’s Milly?” And then I came-
J: You’re the one.
M: I’m the one. I came to and I was making out with this Israeli guy with a receding hairline and I was like, “Oh, what is happening? Where are my friends?”
J: Which casino were you at?
M: From what I remember, it was crazy because-
J: That sounds crazy.
M: Because the thing too about Vegas clubs is, not only it’s like all that sh*t, but it’s also like, it is really cool in there. It is like Disney-
J: It’s Disney World for… I was literally about to say it’s Disney for adults.
M: There was all these special effects like-
J: No, it’s crazy.
M: … with this woman’s face in a waterfall and all this crazy sh*t. And then the themes and the set design. It’s really cool.
J: Well, it’s like there’s no… The thing to understand about Vegas is there’s no… It is purely there to exist as entertainment. They built it in the desert for nothing else. It’s not like New York where you have to squeeze it in with the finance industry and the restaurant and everything else. It’s like, this is a giant vacation space. So they have the space to… If they want to make a giant 35 foot tall, drone recreation of Rob Lowe that walks around, they can do that. Rob Lowe had a residency in Vegas. It is the craziest fact in the world. When I was in Vegas, there was a poster promoting Rob Lowe’s-
M: Rob Lowe, is that the guy from Parks and Rec?
J: Yeah. I was like, which-
M: What the f*ck is he?
J: … I’m like-
M: Was he pushing Herbalife? I don’t know.
J: He think he was singing, but I just like-
M: He sings.
J: I was just drunk enough to be like, “I can’t… Am I f*cked up? Why is Rob-”
M: Rob Lowe.
J: Rob Lowe had a residency in Vegas.
M: There’s weirder things. At the Tropicana, anything can happen.
J: I think this is the second time in the podcast we’ve absolutely dogged on the Tropicana. It is the most foul place. I’ve never been, but the Tropicana, my hotel room when I stayed at Excalibur, which is no Bellagio by any means, but we could see the Tropicana out our window and I thought it was an out of business abandoned building for the first three days-
M: People be staying there.
J: I’m sorry. The sign had fallen off the building when I was there.
M: Well, there’s Lex Vegas and then there’s like, whatever… Back to the Vegas thing, my friends, this is also crazy. I got too drunk. I had to go home early. My friends didn’t. My friends are like, “Oh yeah, we ended up in a limo.” Oh, because limos too… The cabs aren’t expensive.
J: Right.
M: And then also, if you’re with 10 people, you might as well take a limo.
J: No, absolutely.
M: And then yeah, because the limos are five more dollars and then you’re all in the same car or something.
J: Yeah. And you’re in a limo.
M: My friends are all like, “Oh, yeah, we hung out with the Portland Trail Blazers.” And I’m like, “Are you f*cking…” Oh, also we would scam guys in their VIP, in their VIP things. So if one of the guys liked our friend, 10 of us would then start sneaking out their liquor. And these are $500, $600 bottles and they try to kick us out.
J: These are your friends from college.
M: These are my friends from college.
J: And wasn’t your college Buddhist.
M: Yeah, it was. I know, I know. I know. Well, yeah, but it was again, mostly women-
J: Black.
M: Which if it was a women’s college, I think that’s better because then people know, “Oh, okay. It’s all women. I have my expectations set.” But if there’s 25% men, then it just is so sloppy.
J: And that’s what it was.
M: That’s what it was. It was just everyone fighting over-
J: And was it isolated or were you in a town or is it like bubble vibes?
M: It’s like a bubble because the town was Aliso Viejo, which is near Laguna Beach. It’s essentially near Laguna Beach so it’s not fun… It’s like having a f*cking-
J: Like you weren’t isolated physically from civilization, but there weren’t places to go out around the school is what you’re saying.
M: No, the best thing was when a Buffalo Wild Wings opened or we would drive 20 minutes to go to Tijuana’s, which is a club that was complete ass and it was bad. And it was like this big… It was like a Mexican restaurant during the day and then at night it was just this really weird gross bar that had dancing kind of, and then yeah, they charged a cover and it was just like… It was lame, yeah-
J: But you do the best you can with what’s available.
M: Or yeah, we would go to Downtown Fullerton, which is near Anaheim.
J: Okay.
M: Near Disney. But we called DTF, which is like-
J: Oh, God.
M: And we would go there and then California sucks. California really sucks because I grew up in Miami. So that’s a whole other thing clubbing there and my relationship to clubs or whatever.
J: Totally.
M: But then because when I was growing up, my brother was a bouncer, my sister-in-law was a bottle waitress. Everybody always constantly going out, clubs, dancing, whatever, Miami-
J: You were raised in this.
M: Raised and then also just Jamaican people love clubbing, love dancing, whatever. And yeah, Miami closure is like closing at four or six or…
J: Duh.
M: And I was like, “Oh, when I go out, I can’t wait to go out. I can’t wait to go out.” And then-
J: That sucks because you showed up to college to like… You went from major leagues to high school baseball.
M: Yeah. And then well also I did get a taste of it because f*cking this is sick too. Another Vegas thing is a lot of clubs in Miami are girls 18 and over, men 21 and over.
J: That’s f*cked. I’ve never heard of that in my life. That’s so f*cked.
M: It’s so up. And then it’s also like there’s a bunch of ladies drinking free all night.
J: I’ve heard of that, which is f*cked up in its own way, but.
M: It’s yeah. Or like-
J: 18. That’s so…
M: So, I did get a taste, but then when we would go out, so yeah, California, sucked. Downtown Fullerton, there were some cool bars and cool places, but it’s not like, in Miami or South Beach or Wynwood, there’s oh, one bar close to another one, close to another one. In Downtown Fullerton was like one club, walk 10 blocks-
J: Oh, God, yeah.
M: … another one, walk eight blocks another. Oh, my God. That one is weird. And then going out in Japan is crazy. No, I’m a party girl.
J: I love that.
M: The quarantine was so hard for me.
J: We’ll get into it.
M: We’ll get into it. But in Japan, a lot of places are in buildings. So you can’t really-
J: I heard about this.
M: … see the vibe until the elevator doors open.
J: There’s something kind of sexy about that.
M: No, but you want to… On the outside you can see, you can peek in. I just came from New Orleans this weekend. So in New Orleans, they have everything open. All the doors are open so you can see the vibe, how many people are in there, what music they’re playing and sh*t.
J: Right.
M: For f*cking Japan, you have a split sec. The doors open and they’re like, “Come in, come in.” And you don’t see anybody and the music-
J: Yeah.
M: You’re like, “Close the door, close the door, close the door.”
J: Oh, that’s tough. That’s tough. Okay. So, I feel like we’ve gotten a really nice taste of your past with it.
M: Yeah.
J: Right now, what does going out look like for you ideally? What’s the vibe right now?
M: Yeah. I think I’m very much like… I live in Bushwick, so I will try to stay… If I can walk somewhere-
J: I mean, the dream.
M: The dream, which is that there’s a lot of good places that are my vibe around, but like-
J: Which is what?
M: Yeah. So I like a bar lounge, not a club, not where I have to dress up, but I do want to wear cool trendy clothes.
J: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
M: Combat boot, an outfit, a look, but not necessarily, or I could wear sneakers. Just a look.
J: I love it when it’s like almost… I love a space and it’s hard to land right where I’m talking about, but you could dress for a club and not look out of place, but you could also wear a cool outfit that’s not quote unquote, for lack of a better term, club worthy, something that like the piece of sh*t door person at a club and Chelsea would turn you away for it.
M: Yeah.
J: Something like that, but you can still wear it in this space and it is welcoming to all of that.
M: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s kind of a-
J: I don’t need to be at the bar where everyone’s wearing sweatpants. That can get a little tough.
M: No, no, that’s lame. That’s lame. That’s corny. But also I don’t want to be like, “Oh, I have to wear heels or someone’s going to turn me away or anything.”
J: Totally.
M: But a nice dress or a nice jeans-
J: Some docs.
M: … or something. Some docs. That’s kind of my vibe. I like going out to places that play hip hop or kind of… I hate to say hipster music.
J: Oh, yeah. I feel this fine.
M: Tame Impala kind of stuff. I feel like a good DJ or DJs that I think are good are people that can mix different genres, dance hall, I think a little bit of everything.
J: So when you’re going out, are you looking to dance?
M: Most of the time, yeah. I feel like I can’t do a dive bar night, but if I’m really going to go out, I’m like, okay, we’re starting at a dive bar where we can sit and talk for like… Yeah. That’s not it for me.
J: You’re landing at the dance. Yeah.
M: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or even if not a lot of people are dancing, I like there to be music so whatever. There is something to be said about… I do like talking to people and all this stuff, but also I do just dissociate a little bit and-
J: Totally.
M: … I just want to listen to music. I went to a bachelorette party and all weekend we were in this house and then we were going out and then we were just talking to each other. And then by the last night I’m like, “I don’t want to talk to anybody anymore. I want to go to a place and listen to music.” I’m also very outgoing, gregarious, and chatty. So I just like striking up conversations with random people. That’s also my thing. I have a lot of friends as an unfortunately straight woman, unfortunately, which whatever, I’m not in any delusions that it’s easier to date women than men, but-
J: No, totally.
M: … but I do enjoy it… I think I really like, not I think, I think the music at gay clubs is better because they’re more okay with playing deeper cuts.
J: Yes.
M: I literally was in, again, this gay club in New Orleans and they’re playing the music video. This club had a virtual DJ, the music videos-
J: That’s the best.
M: So, they’re playing MIA deep cuts from 2012, they’re playing… They played this song. I didn’t even know this Kendrick Lamar interlude from one of his albums had a music video, but they played that one.
J: That’s when you’re, “This sh*t has a video, what are you talking about?”
M: What is this? Well, I wasn’t sure because this place, usually gay clubs, there’s a bunch of flags or whatever, this place was really spooky looking and cool-
J: Oh, nice.
M: So I wasn’t sure it was a gay club until I went on the second floor and all the TVs had “Charmed” and the bartender was-
J: Oh, my God.
M: And they’re just staring at the f*cking TV. It was season two “Charmed.”
J: Oh.
M: Staring at the TV like it was a basketball game, fascinated, oh sh*t. And I’m like, “Oh, we are in a gay club.”
J: So you need to give me the name of this place and I’m flying there tomorrow. This is my perfect club, dancing on the first floor with music videos. And on the second floor, I can decompress with some “Charmed” and go back downstairs.
M: Well, this was-
J: Oh, my f*cking God.
M: … during the day so I don’t know but yes, yes, yes. But yeah, I guess for me, I like-
J: That makes so much more sense. I thought it’s like fully going to a 1:00 AM nightclub, but you can go upstairs and everyone’s just watching “Charmed.”
M: No, no, no. I went at three or 4:00 PM.
J: No, I get it. No. Oh, my God it makes so much sense.
M: But I think probably they’re playing “Charmed” in the background.
J: When I get rich enough to open a nightclub, there’ll be a “Charmed” floor. There will be a “Charmed” floor.
M: There’ll be a “Charmed” floor.
J: And it’ll be called the Attic and it’ll be, yeah. And then you’ll be the book of shadows. I could go all day with this.
M: Yeah. Well, I’m glad that you’re proud of being who you are.
J: Oh, my God.
M: Glad that you’ve really tripped into your sexuality as a homosexual man. Yeah. So I enjoy gay clubs, but I feel like for me, just where I’m at, I’m single and-
J: Totally.
M: … I’m not trying to sleep with someone every time I go out. I like going to a place that’s… Because I have friends who will just go, even straight friends will just go to gay clubs and gay spaces.
J: Right. I feel like I have those friends who it’s like, that’s not how they like to date or hook up, and so they don’t want to deal with it at all. And so a gay club for them is perfect. Or if they already have a boyfriend or something, I feel like they love it.
M: Yeah. Well-
J: But I get it as someone who in college was in a place where there were no queer spaces to go out and so I was never in it, I could never have those spaces. I can empathize with someone by being like, “I would love there to be at least a 20% chance I can get laid tonight in this space,” then I’m like, “I have no judgment of that. I totally get it.”
M: Yeah. It’s not even like, “I want to get laid.” But it’s also like, “I want to talk to someone and flirt and whatever and this and that.” And then it’s also, yeah, and it is also just like, “This space isn’t for me…”
J: This is me talking about Poppy Juice-
M: Poppy Juice, exactly right.
J: This literally goes back to it.
M: But I feel like, of course I have a bunch of gay friends. We all go out and do this and that. Yeah. But every weekend, am I going to go and take up space at this place? No. And also that’s just not enjoyable for me.
J: Totally. I think that’s-
M: Or it is enjoyable, but not…
J: In a different way, I think it’s interesting because it’s with both of those situations, like a heterosexual cis person going to a queer space or like me as a white person going to a party for that is meant for POCs. Obviously, there are going to be in both those spaces, there’s going to be white people at the POC party. There’s going to be straight people at the queer event, most of the time. And it’s like, those people are… There is a world in which people are welcomed by the people who are creating that space.
M: Of course.
J: And then obviously, what then inevitably happens a lot of the time is every person thinks they’re that one person, which then is when the cis whites take over the space. Do you know what I mean?
M: Yeah.
J: And so it’s hard. I guess, to go back to, for example, why I’ve never gone to Poppy Juice. If I was in a situation where you and I were hanging out and you’re like, “I really want you to come to Poppy Juice with me tonight.” That’s different. In the same way if I was like, “Let’s go to Metro tonight.”
M: Yeah. Same.
J: But me blindly buying a ticket to Poppy Juice being like, “I just want to go because that’s where everyone’s going,” is different. I think maybe that’s the line is like-
M: Yeah. Well, what I find is bars that I enjoy and places that I enjoy in Brooklyn and Bushwick and whatever, Williamsburg is there really is everyone. You see-
J: Well, bars are also different from a ticketed event that has a specific capacity.
M: But I don’t know about going to gay clubs or this and that, right, but to me, there are bars where queer people hang out and straight people hang out and you can see queer people making out in the corner-
J: Totally.
M: Those are spaces that I enjoy where it is just a mix of all different kinds of people-
J: A hundred percent.
M: … and all different kinds. And I do have some people who I go out with and then they’re like, “Ew, straight people are here, this is gross.” And I’m like, okay, well that’s-
J: It’s a little much, it’s a little much.
M: That’s a little annoying. Or that’s a little much, but also yeah, because I get it, but at the same time it’s like, yeah, most people… I was on a date with this guy and we’re at a table at this place called Breakers formerly known as Battery Harris-
J: Wait. It’s funny that you… I associate you with Battery Harris Breakers.
M: Yeah.
J: That is actually a space. I really, I associate specifically you with.
M: That’s a vibe I really enjoy. That’s a good example of a place I have been thrown out of.
J: Of Breakers or Battery? When it was still Battery?
M: Battery, for attempting to do drugs. I didn’t even do it, first of all, that was embarrassing. And it was like a birthday party of… There were 30 people with us and a few of us went… we were trying to go to the bathroom. We were trying to be-
J: Was this the birthday party I was with you at?
M: No, no, no, no. This was another. Well, this is funny because yeah, we were all going to partake in some drugs in the bathroom. There’s a security guard in the bathroom. Okay. So they have a big-
J: They put him there for a reason.
M: Yeah. They put them there for a reason. This is the Battery Harris era. Then we go to the backyard, there’s a little corner.
J: It’s about to go down.
M: About to go down and the security guard comes unto us. There’s three of us, he’s like you, you, you out.
J: Damn.
M: And then we ran away. I run into the dance floor and start dancing like-
J: The audacity. For those listening guys, Battery Harris slash The Breakers, not that big a bar. Honestly-
M: It’s pretty big.
J: No, I’m sorry. It’s not that-
M: It’s not tiny.
J: This isn’t like a New Orleans three floor moment. This is one room where when you’re standing you can see the whole room.
M: And then there’s an outdoor section, there’s an outdoor section.
J: I’m just saying you were going to get caught.
M: I don’t think so. I feel like there were a lot of people there. Well, I did get caught and then he was like, “You were supposed to leave,” and I’m like, “Sorry, I’m looking for my purse.” And then I ran again. And then I informed him again… Because it was-
J: You were playing tag with this dude.
M: It was a joint birthday party. Me and so… No, it was two of my really close friends at the time. And it was one of them’s birthdays. So, she was also like, “I don’t want to get f*cking kicked out and have all 30 people who are here, find out why I was kicked out.”
J: Yeah. That’s so-
M: That’s so embarrassing.
J: … brutal.
M: And also make everyone leave. We were having fun.
J: And, yeah. Were you guys Union Pool, what’s that?
M: Then we went to Union Pool and then… I know, I know. We went to Union Pool. Well, my friend’s like… We’re under the BQE and she’s like, “Well you want to do the drugs now?” And I’m like, “No.” It’s like, I don’t want to do drugs under the highway.
J: Yeah, drugs under the highway. It’s very aesthetic.
M: Have I done it before? Yes. Did I want to do it right then after getting thrown up?
J: No.
M: So then everybody… We’re at Union Pool and I’m just sitting there completely embarrassed. And then my roommate at the time comes up to me, she’s like, “Hey it’s okay. It happens.” Everyone keeps coming up to me like, “It happens to everybody. It’s fine.” My roommate’s like, “Yeah, maybe just don’t come back here for a month, they’ll forget.
J: Yeah, yeah.
M: Yeah. Whatever. Then I get an email-
J: No. An email?
M: An email-
J: I was so shaken.
M: I get an email from a friend who is getting married in Brooklyn and he is like, “Hey everyone, we’re so excited. My wedding’s in two weeks. After the wedding, the after party will be at Battery Harris, and I’m like, “f*ck. Okay.” But yeah, now there’s new management and there are no security guards in the bathrooms.
J: They have a cooler vibe. The Breakers has a cooler vibe.
M: Battery Harris was Jamaican themed and then Breakers is like an eighties surf shop themed.
J: Yeah. There’s more of a neon vibe.
M: Yeah. That’s the vibe. Yeah.
J: Yeah, yeah. The Breakers has that curse for me where it’s right next to one of my all time favorite bars that I’m at all the time. So I’m never at The Breakers because when I’m in that area, I’m at my bar. Do you know what I mean?
M: What’s your bar?
J: The Exley, do you know The Exley?
M: Oh, I’ve seen it, but I’ve never walked in.
J: It’s a gay bar that’s like… It’s just like my home base. But it’s very much like sitting and chatting. It’s definitely like… It’d honestly be perfect, and then go to Breakers and dance or even Metro and dance. But it’s like I know everyone there. That’s my bar. I can show up to and everyone who I know is already there and I didn’t have to text anyone-
M: Oh, yeah. That’s great.
J: And so it’s like a nice catchall moment.
M: Yeah.
J: But I always end up there and then I never make it over to The Breakers, but I want to make more of an effort.
M: Well, yeah, well I try to go multiple times during the pandemic because it does have a big open-
J: Huge outdoor space.
M: … backyard. Yeah. It is huge. Okay. But anyway. You’re making me feel bad. No, but yeah, they were closed for a lot of the pandemic. I feel like they just-
J: But they’re back officially?
M: They’re back. I heard, I haven’t gone since the pandemic. But literally, I would go and all the bartenders would know me or…
J: Oh, you were in deep with them-
M: Yeah. I have a few places like that, but…
J: Nice.
M: But, yeah, now I’m in Bushwick and I go to stuff like that in Bushwick.
J: Nice. Have you ever worked in the… I know you said all your family did back when you were in Miami, but like oh, oh. Oh no.
M: So, I was a photographer at the Dave and Buster’s Time Square location, honey. So that’s like a restaurant and nightlife. It’s not really club, club, but yeah.
J: Wow. I’m forgetting… Because there is a late night adult version of Dave and Busters.
M: Oh, absolutely.
J: That’s-
M: It’s so expensive.
J: I’ve only ever encountered it as a child who would go once a year as a big treat because it is so expensive.
M: Drake closed it for two nights in 2014 Drake, Drake and Beyonce. Drake closed it for-
J: I’m sorry, what?
M: Yes. Beyonce closed it one night for her birthday.
J: Were you-
M: And I wasn’t there.
J: I’m sorry. I’m-
M: I wasn’t there that night.
J: And so do say, you’re telling me that Beyonce threw her birthday party at a Dave and Busters?
M: Time Square and closed it. That’s pretty sick.
J: I guess that’s pretty-
M: It’s huge. That is huge. Time Square Dave and Busters is huge.
J: It’s four floors. I guess it would also-
M: No, it’s one floor, but it’s a big one. Because it’s the next store to the movie theater.
J: I guess I think it’s more than one floor because you go through it when you go in the movie theater down all the escalators.
M: Yeah, yeah. And then there’s a huge restaurant and there’s the arcade.
J: I guess that would be fine if it’s free arcade games and drinking all night.
M: And then Beyonce. Yeah. And then Drake did an album party or some sh*t like that too. While I was there, there’s probably been a million other things-
J: Did you photograph it?
M: No.
J: Devastating.
M: I know. Well, I, this is crazy, I worked this hustle where it was like, I would take pictures of people at their tables and sh*t or whatever and then print them and give it back to them and sell it back. Or they would tip me quote unquote, and then I’d have to give somebody a cut of everything that I make that day. So it was really shady. I never met my boss. It was so creepy.
J: Were you paid on a W2 or is this a cash side gig?
M: No. Cash side gig.
J: I’ve never heard of this in my life.
M: Oh, yeah. So I did this, Dallas BBQ Times Square, and then sometimes I would do Chelsea Dallas BBQ.
J: So someone just sends you an email, like, “Get your camera, go.”
M: No. So you would go there, there’s a closet, like a supply closet and there’s the camera, key chains, all the materials. So you’re paying somebody a materials fee and you’re giving them a cut and then you go over and then you work as long as you want or short as you want.
J: And you’re just walking to tables of people having dinner, being like, “Hey, do you want a family picture taken?”
M: Yeah. And then printed the key chain in 20 minutes.
J: And then how much would that cost them?
M: Well, we’re technically not supposed to charge. It’s supposed to be a discretionary tip. But if you’re good, you’re a hustler, you’d be like, “Oh, I’ll give you four for 20.” And you can calculate in your mind. Sometimes people give you more, sometimes people give you less, but-
J: So you could turn a pretty penny that night?
M: Oh, yeah. So, if you’re working really busy… It was just like waitressing or whatever, where it’s just like, you can make 300, 400 bucks. Well, it was crazy because I was working in a grocery store during Sandy. That’s around the time that I was working in a grocery store and I would make… I remember during Sandy, they made me work overtime and I was working minimum wage $7.25 and I got… Overtime was time and a half, so it was $11.50 and then my-
J: That’s so dark, time and a half being $11.50.
M: Yeah. Well, that’s a reality for a lot of people and then-
J: It makes me so f*cking mad.
M: And then when I got my paycheck for the Sandy week, it was $183 after taxes and sh*t. But then my first night working at a busy night during the holidays-
J: Of Dave, yeah.
M: … of Dave investors, I was going home to the Bronx. I was living in the Bronx at that time with $500 in cash on the train.
J: There you go.
M: It was crazy for me.
J: God, I love learning about new… finding out about new, good, New York City hustles. So on a night out for you, what is the… Walk me through what you’re drinking.
M: I’ve gone through so many different phases, but right now-
J: I want to know all about it.
M: Yeah. Well, geez. Well, first off, we could start from college. College was fruity, Malibu pineapple juice, Malibu passion fruit juice, all that sh*t. Then we moved on to CocaCola and vanilla vodka.
J: Yeah. Did you ever f*ck with Pinnacle Whipped Cream?
M: Of course.
J: That was a really intense phase in my college.
M: Pinnacle was actually on the expensive side. Well, you know-
J: No, we definitely thought we were being luxe when we bought Pinnacle, but the whip cream-
M: Whip cream. Yeah. Because that’s also not easy to get and everything because we would go to, well, we would go to CVS because-
J: Oh, in California, can you buy liquor at CVS?
M: Yes. You can buy liquor in CVS in California. And then we would have one friend who was over 21 and we would be looking at nail polish. And there would just be this random guy who’s like 28, who’s in our college, and all of us are… But anyway, then we moved onto, after vanilla Coke. We would do dirty girl scouts. Have you ever heard of those? Which is-
J: Can I guess what it is?
M: Yeah. So you get on your knees-
J: Oh, my God.
M: … then someone squirts Hershey’s chocolate syrup in your mouth.
J: No.
M: And then you take a shot of mint snaps. You shake your head-
J: I got one.
M: … and you drink it.
J: That is really funny.
M: Yeah. I know. That was really-
J: You shoot Rumple Minze and Hershey syrup up in your mouth?
M: Yes.
J: That’s so brutal.
M: It’s so ridiculous. Then senior year was when we started Jungle Juice, which was weird, because other places, but just for our school. And then that’s when we were getting Everclear. When we turned 21 and we could actually go to ABC Liquors ourselves, that’s when we went f*cking crazy. And then one of the guys that went to our parties, he was like… Because yeah, we’re just shooting random sh*t. At first we had… The first batch was more measured, whatever.
J: Totally.
M: Second, third batch, anything that we saw, we were just pouring it in this big like… You know when there’s football games?
J: Yeah. The coolers, the Gatorade Coolers.
M: Yeah. We would just put a bunch of sh*t in there.
J: What is the impetus of doing that? Once we’re 21, it’s like we have the ability to buy alcohol. Why is it like, “Let’s just put everything we can find in a f*cking tank.”
M: Well, it’s also just like we want to get drunk, but we don’t want to taste it, but we don’t want to spend a lot of money, but we have a big party with a bunch of people. So it was just easier to… Also, it was also like our school was dry, whatever. So-
J: It was the same dry campus.
M: Yeah. It wasn’t a dry campus, it was dry for under 21. So it’s also easier to hide the evidence and carry or whatever. So I think it was just like, how can we get a bunch of people drunk and have it be good? And people would give us five bucks, 10 bucks-
J: Right.
M: … at each or something-
J: Oh, my God. I forgot about that.
M: … and then we put big batches of sh*t. And one guy was like, “Yeah, I don’t know what the f*ck was in this.” I put it into a styrofoam cup and it disintegrated.
J: No.
M: And we were drinking that sh*t. So then post college, I guess, yeah, I was just drinking, just anything, obviously.
J: Totally.
M: Yeah. And then also Long Islands and Blue Long Islands, whatever. And then yeah, as I just started getting old, yeah, then I started moving on to like… First things in New York was whiskey gingers-
J: Classic.
M: Whiskey gingers were like, “I didn’t know you were a whiskey girl. Oh, God, f*ck me.”
J: Oh, there was a real moment like 10 years ago where whiskey ginger was a fully submissible personality. Your personality could be that I’m a whiskey ginger person.
M: Yeah, for sure. And then I started doing IPAs, whiskey, ginger-
J: Another full personality, oh yeah.
M: I know. The whole f*cking thing was so gross.
J: You moved right into Brooklyn.
M: Yeah. No, of course I moved to Brooklyn. There was no other choice for me. I was never going to make it. Then I started getting, which sometimes I still get, I got really bad stomach aches, really bad… I would get bad like it would just hurt, and then I hate going to the doctors because doctors, if you’re fat, anything they… You’re like, “My ankle’s broken.” They’re like, “Well, lose 10 pounds.”
J: I know. It’s such f*cking bullsh*t.
M: Okay, that has nothing to do with… I got fired from a job, no, actually it was before I got fired, but I had really good health insurance and I went to a nutritionist and then she was like, “You have gastritis,” which is basically, there’s just too much-
J: Acid.
M: … acid. It was very much like, “Instead of this, do this.” She said, “When you’re going out to drink, try to get a guacamole or olives first, that will help process the alcohol. And when you’re drinking-
J: Guacamole or olive?
M: Avocados or olives are good for processing alcohol. I don’t know, that’s what the nutritionist told me-
J: Why aren’t they telling all of us that all the time?
M: I don’t know. Also, it is America. In other countries, you have snacks. Bars will give you snacks.
J: Totally.
M: It’s way more like snack and eating things-
J: Well, they used to. You used to get bar nuts or like… I guess maybe it’s just fat then because those are all like … Olives have a decent amount of fat on, avocados are all fat, bar nuts. Maybe it’s a fats thing-
J: Maybe it’s a fat thing.
M: I’m not going to try to be a nutritionist on the podcast, but-
M: Whatever. Yeah. And then she told me like, tequilas, Mezcal are the best liquor for you and then vodka and then try to stay away from beers, so-
J: Yeah, beers are brutal on the stomach.
M: Yeah, exactly. So that’s when it shifted and I… But then tequilas would give me crazy hangovers. So I would try to-
J: You really have to figure out your own recipe, what works for you.
M: I know, yeah. I was doing tequila with soda and lime or vodka. I do a lot of vodka stuff. I still do beer still, but I’ll do pilsners, way lighter beers to cocktails.
J: And just know that you can’t do that all night. I love a beer, but if I drink beer all night, that’s going to be a bad day the next day.
M: Well, what I do is I start off with two cocktails, and then I’ll move on to beers.
J: Nice.
M: Or I’ll start out… Yeah, I drink a lot, but that was the thing too… In New Orleans is that I would have, they have crazy sugary drinks-
J: Yeah. The Hurricanes.
M: The Hurricanes and sh*t. I’d have a Hurricane, I’m like, “This is great. I want more.” And then by the half of the second one-
J: You can’t do that.
M: … I’m like, “Oh, my God, my stomach is killing me.”
J: I did that sh*t in Vegas. I went to Vegas. We walked into the hotel, I immediately, before I had even checked into my room, got a frozen pina colada. It was like, “Let’s do it.” After that, I was like, “I’ll never drink a frozen drink again.” I don’t think I had a frozen drink for a year and a half. Those sugary drinks are fun, but they’re hard to dismount. They’re pretty brutal on the body.
M: Yeah. They’re pretty bad. Yeah. So yeah, just light. I’ll do a seltzer, I’ll do Pilsners, and I’ll do vodka or tequila.
J: Nice. Keeping…
M: But yeah, I can’t do shots anymore. It’s like a weird thing, I don’t know.
J: That is so funny. Though, yeah, I don’t really do shots that often. If another bartender buys them for me, I’m not going to turn it away, but I’m not out here ordering shots anymore.
M: Shots are tough. I like the ceremony of doing shots.
J: No, it’s special.
M: It’s fun. It’s fun when you’re like, “I’ll buy a shot for everybody.” I do like that, but actually, ingesting it, it always… 1 out of 10 times, I’m throwing up in my mouth.
J: Yeah. Also it’s like the-
M: I really should stop doing that.
J: Buying a round of shots to everybody is so clearly something that was not invented in New York because you do that sh*t in Vermont, and it’s like, okay, send 20 bucks. You buy a round of shots for six people in New York’s, a minimum, you’re hitting three figures. Absolutely. If you’re tipping appropriately, it’s so brutal. So I’m not really like a round of shots sort of thing. I also just think the older I get, the more I’m constantly playing the low ABB game. I’m like, “Why am I trying to drink a 7, 9% alcohol beer? If I’m planning to be out all night, let’s do a 4% beer.
M: That’s smart.
J: Okay. To the listeners, this is my ultimate promo move, I believe if you’re going to be going out and you want to do it sustainably for your health other than… But you do want to drink, order singles in doubles glasses. Order a single gin and soda, single vodka soda, single tequila soda in a pint glass. So you’re doubling the amount of water you’re drinking with each drink. Everyone’s like, “Do a drink and then do a water.” No, one’s doing that. That’s a pain in the ass.
M: I do that.
J: But it’s also… Okay, I respect-
M: I drink a lot of water when I’m out.
J: But the thing is, so my problem is I can’t control how fast I drink something once it’s in my hands-
M: Yeah, that’s true.
J: It’s down. And so if I can maximize the volume of that drink, which is the allure of beer, right? You’re getting 12, 16 ounces of liquid to drink. If you do a large soda glass, you’re just getting a lot more water, and also the drink lasts you a little bit longer.
M: Yeah. That’s true.
J: Whenever I play that card, I never feel rough the next day. It’s good.
M: Oh, that’s so smart. Yeah, there’s so many drinks… My brothers would sneak in… There’s these shots. Have you ever seen those juice bags that they would give in school?
J: Like Capri Suns?
M: No. It would be clear. Or even little containers of, not nips, but even smaller than, or like more… My brother would sneak in alcohol, order soda, sneak in alcohol and pour it himself. So yeah, one time we were out… Oh, because as much as we’re talking about Vegas, I lived near a reservation, an Indian reservation, the seminal reservation in Hollywood, Florida.
J: Okay.
M: And so they made basically a Vegas style Hard Rock, literally with multiple clubs and all this sh*t, but it’s just in the middle of this neighborhood and there’s this huge guitar shaped hotel. It has 20 floors or something. And then the strings project light into the sky. It’s the f*cking most ugly, obnoxious sh*t in the middle of a neighborhood, in an apartment building.
J: That’s so abnormal.
M: And it’s so f*cking stupid, but it’s literally in my hometown. And-
J: Was that the spot to go to when you were younger?
M: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It’s probably still cool now, but we went there one time and this guy… This is the most Florida sh*t ever of people would be drinking at a bar or something and set their drink down and some guy would come and drink it and-
J: Damn.
M: … take other people’s drinks.
J: People would pick up the drink and just drink it.
M: Yeah. Well, this one guy would… It was his whole thing all night. He didn’t buy any drinks and he was just taking people’s-
J: They used to call that when I was in England, they called that mind sweeping. There would be people walking around the club that were just picking up… And I was like, “That’s the darkest sh*t.”
M: That’s so dark.
J: Babe, “Do you need three pounds? I’ll buy you a drink. Please don’t drink the dirty drink off the tables.”
M: Yeah.
J: Let’s talk about dining out.
M: Okay. I love it.
J: We love it. Okay your face truly just lit up.
M: Yeah. I love a good restaurant.
J: Okay. Where are your spots? How do you like to dine out?
M: Yeah. Well, I’m pretty lame. I don’t know if I’m-
J: There’s no such thing. There’s no…
M: Well, because I don’t eat seafood. So everyone’s like, “Oh, that’s why…” People will have their opinions about it, which it is unfortunate that I don’t enjoy it because I grew up in Florida.
J: Yeah.
M: Studied abroad in Japan, blah, blah, blah.
J: And we’re talking across the board. No shellfish, no fish. No…
M: I’ll do imitation crab. I’ll make a tuna sandwich.
J: Okay.
M: I’m not really just not my vibe.
J: It’s not your vibe.
M: No, I don’t like it.
J: No, that’s not lame. Maybe in Nantucket, it’s lame because that’s all there is to eat, but-
M: Yeah. Well, it just bothers people to hear that.
J: They need to chill out.
M: Yeah. But-
J: Also, if you don’t eat seafood, those fry shacks on the water where like if wants to go for seafood and you’re like, “I don’t like seafood,” those places always have the most f*cking bomb chicken fingers.
M: Yeah. No. Usually, 9 times out of 10, every restaurant has-
J: Something.
M: Something, so I’m not even, yeah. So I’m more like chicken fish and I’m also just not even like bone marrow or you’re intestines-
J: You are not an adventurist.
M: I’m not very-
J: We’re not doing the awfuls.
M: Yeah. I’ll be adventurous with vegetables. I’ll be adventurous with different kinds of cuisine. But-
J: We don’t need to get up in the guts.
M: Huh?
J: We don’t need to get up in the guts.
M: No, I’m not eating an ear. I’m not eating ankles. I’m not eating tongue.
J: The first restaurant I worked at in New York served a pig head on the skull, which I was pretty… And it’s cut in half and it’s laid on its side. So there’s half a pig face on the plate. And the first few times I saw it, I was like, “Okay, that’s a little intense.” I’ve never eaten it and I don’t think I ever would. And I am a pretty adventurous eater. I just couldn’t do it, but then one time I cleared it. I had to clear it off a table and it flipped over. And I saw that it had a full set of f*cking teeth.
M: No.
J: And they’re very similar to the size of human teeth. And I did scream. I was like, “Huh,” in the restaurant and I did get in trouble for it. But I was like I fully drew the line. I was like, “This is where I draw the line. I can’t actually do a full set of f*cking teeth.”
M: Well, yeah. And I think my dad would be like, “Hey, come over here,” and I’d watch him eat an eyeball or some crazy sh*t, nasty sh*t. I’m like, “No.”
J: Dads love to f*cking do that. My dad would dry the fish eyes too.
M: Yeah. Like, “Ugh, no.” But-
J: Wait, so what weird thing do you like? We’re talking about what you don’t like?
M: Yeah. So, I love Asian cuisine because the kind of food I… I like to eat a lot of different, little small things-
J: The Tapas vibe. Yeah, yeah.
M: Yeah. I love the Tapas vibe. I love Korean food because there’s a lot of little side dishes and sh*t.
J: Yeah.
M: I even like good American food, Indian’s cool. Good Spanish food.
J: Do you have spots in Brooklyn that are your go-tos
M: Yes. If I’m bringing someone to New York or someone’s visiting New York-
J: This is such a crucial thing. This spot that you’d bring them to that’s always like the, if you’re hosting.
M: Yeah. Well, I like to go to Cheeseboat, which is Georgian. Georgia, the country, not Georgia the state.
J: I don’t know this spot, but I love Georgian food.
M: It’s khachapuri. It’s like the bread, the cheese bread-
J: With the egg.
M: … with the egg in the middle and cheese and stuff.
J: They’re so good.
M: So, that’s good. And then it’s also, they have this-
J: Wait, this spot is called Cheeseboat-
M: A Cheeseboat-
J: Which is what a khachapuri is?
M: That’s what a khachapuri is.
J: That’s clever.
M: So the place is Cheeseboat. I like it because it’s adventurous, it’s different. You can’t get that anywhere, but it’s also just like the ingredients are like chicken and then truffle and cheese. It’s pretty basic, but it’s just arranged in a different way. And they have this really delicious salad, which is tomatoes and onions with a walnut dressing. It’s so good. So I love Cheeseboat. I love Caracas.
J: Caracas is so-
M: Caracas is good.
J: … f*cking good on the beach like the one on the Rockaways.
M: There’s one on the beach and there’s one in Williamsburg. The Williamsburg one is so cute.
J: Yeah.
M: Yeah.
J: So I’m getting a vibe that we like more of the casual dining experience, kind of like chill, laid back, and a bunch of small stuff.
M: Yeah. I can do a bigger, nicer place, but not often. I worked with this Japanese company and we would go out a lot, for these really f*cking fancy dinners. So that’s when I learned how to order steak properly and do all that stuff. I learned from that job. But yeah, and I’ve done the fine dining thing and it is cool once in a while, but yeah, I’m more of a casual, again, yeah, like Brooklyn. You’re going to eat good food and it might not necessarily be… I love Santa Ponza. Have you been there?
J: Yeah, yeah.
M: Italian place? Yeah. You’re eating good food and it’s not necessarily cheap, but it’s not like hoity-toity.
J: It’s not a whole ceremony.
M: It’s not a whole ceremony and all that stuff. So that’s kind of my, yeah, my vibe.
J: Do you prefer on a night that you’re going out, are we doing a quick dinner at home? Have we doing food out before?
M: It depends.
J: Yeah.
M: But probably eat at home. Because again, I want to eventually get to dancing. So I just-
J: Oh, so you want to keep it light on the stomach so you’re not weighed down.
M: Well, yeah. Or I’ll just be like, oh yeah, I’ll eat at my house. We’ll get dive bar drinks first-
J: For sure.
M: … then we’ll go dancing at this fun place.
J: For sure. Do you like to host a pre-game or do you prefer things out of the house?
M: I love hosting. I love hosting-
J: Do you? Do you?
M: … I love hosting.
J: Tell me why?
M: And I live alone now, so I’m always hosting.
J: And you have a roof, right? You have a-
M: And I have a nice roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s a new thing. That’s TV money. That’s TV money-
J: The TV money got us a roof.
M: The two seasons are like… The three TV jobs I’ve had, that’s been… But no, I grew up… My family had a big house in Florida. Yeah. There’s a lot of f*cking people in my family so it’s not like we had this huge mansion, but we had a ranch style house with a pool and a huge backyard and a big front yard with a lot of trees. So my family, we always hosted a bunch of parties and we always did. And I just, I do like it-
J: Was it for other family or was it like a bigger group of more…
M: Everybody, yeah. It’s for everybody. And my mom too, my mom always worked in hair. She’s a hairdresser.
J: Nice.
M: So, she just couldn’t have a really big, nice dinner. She would do it once, on Sundays maybe. And we would barbecue a lot too because it’s easier, but yeah, she would really go in and cook. She likes to cook, but she just couldn’t do it as often. So these holidays, like Thanksgiving, which is the day before Christmas Eve.
J: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
M: Christmas Eve, New Year’s. She would really go in and have these huge things. And then that stayed with me. I’m like, “I do like hosting and I do like everyone coming in my home.” Although now I’m like, I have cool furniture, but it’s all from Amazon. So it’s all wobbly and cheap and sh*t. So, I’m like, “Okay, you have to use its coaster,” or that kind of stuff. But I do like hosting.
J: Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I-
M: And I like having what me and my friends call a shark coochie board.
J: A shark coochie board. I go back and forth because my boyfriend and I got our own place. And so now I also have the ability to host and not worry about roommates.
M: Ooh.
J: I was talking about this with another guest recently though, there is… I experience an intense vulnerability specifically around the bathroom where I’m always anxious about the bathroom being clean enough, which I just have to release, but I do love the hosting. I think what I struggle with is, when it’s time for the bar, I want to get out. And you have to tow a line between being like, “Get the f*ck out of my house,” and being like, “Okay guys, time for the bar.” You know what I mean?
M: Yeah, yeah.
J: Making the move to the second location-
M: Yeah, that’s funny.
J: There’s always someone because nothing… I feel like this happened a lot in college, there’s nothing worse than the person at the pregame who’s like, “What if we just kept doing this?” I’m like, “We’re leaving. I want to go out.”
M: Yeah. It’s just not this… Again, when I’m in that mood, I’m in that mood and sometimes I will just like, “Hey everyone just come to my house and hang out.”
J: Right. But that’s different. That’s not a pre-game, that’s a hang.
M: That’s not a pre-game, that’s a hang. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I’m very into hosting and stuff and I get it, but yeah, I get like coming out and then checking if the bathroom is clean enough for sure. I had a male visitor over and I f*cking cleaned my apartment real quick and sh*t. But speaking of the bathroom clean enough, yeah, I just didn’t even think like, oh yeah, like this, he lifted the toilet seat to pee and I’m like, “Oh sh*t, I didn’t clean under that.
J: That’s the worst.
M: I didn’t think about that.
J: That’s the worst.
M: F*ck.
J: No, it’s the worst. I forgot to clean it. My mom came last weekend and-
M: Oh, God moms are tough.
J: Moms are tough and I-
M: Because they look for sh*t. They look for sh*t.
J: Oh, absolutely.
M: Mine tries to catch me off guard.
J: And so I called my boyfriend. I was like, or I saw him in the morning and I had a bunch of sh*t that I had to do the day she was coming for work. So, I couldn’t clean the apartment so I turned to him, I was like, “You have to clean the apartment today. She’s coming and there’s no other option.” And he did and he did a good job, but I knew there’d be something we’d miss. And then sure enough, I see my mom later. And she just one day comes home from the store to my apartment. And she’s like, “I bought you a new shower liner.” I’m like, “f*ck, God damn it.”
M: Oh, Jesus.
J: I knew something was coming. I knew, but I’ll take the f*cking shower liner. You know what I mean?
M: That’s how they get their joy of, you still need me.
J: No, and she’s not an asshole about it, but I knew I was going to miss something and it was absolutely the shower liner.
M: Well, that’s pretty-
J: I know. No, I know. I know. I know. I know.
M: Yeah. But yeah, my mom’s a hater like that too or like yeah, I clean and then she’s just like, with her finger, finger check the TV and I’m like-
J: Oh, don’t do that. My mom probably does that when I’m not looking. But in front of me I would be like, come on.
M: Oh, my mom will come like two hours before she says she’s going to come-
J: Not acceptable.
M: No, I can’t.
J: So, I’m curious because it’s just become clear we’re talking to you, and I think I knew this about you before, but it’s just become more clear, you’ve done a lot of different nightlife. You’ve done the Cali nightlife, you’ve done the Florida nightlife, you’ve done New York, you’ve done Japan. What is your preferred of them all and why?
M: I like New York because you can get the variety.
J: Yeah. That’s what I love.
M: Yeah. I love that. I love New York just because too, I like seeing live music. I guess, I really like New Orleans in that there are good live music from place to place.
J: Yeah.
M: But yeah, I like New York obviously, because you can see big bands or national acts or Indie, whatever. I guess New Orleans is like your walking place to place and there’s a lot of covers and they’re good or people performing covers or performing that. But I could see how that would be tiring or not fun if you live there.
J: Sure. Because it’s like every time you change location, you’re paying another 5, 10 bucks.
M: Oh, well, I didn’t even have to pay. There’ll be good live music, but then the band is like, you’ve never heard of them, of course-
J: Oh, and they’re doing covers-
M: And they’re doing covers-
J: Oh, okay, I see.
M: … of a song that’s popular. And I’m like, “That’s cool once in a while,” but I’m like, “Oh, I wouldn’t want to do this every time I go out to see a band do covers.” But I like that I could see any little Indie artist in New York City.
J: Yeah.
M: So that’s fun.
J: Well, it’s interesting that you’re saying that because I think that’s what’s nice about New York nightlife is that it doesn’t actually have a specific identity. It’s not like there’s an iconic way to go out in New York. You can do the dive bar thing, you can do the luxury cocktail bar, you can do the club. Because it has it all and the venues, you really can do it all and you can also jump around it in one night. You know what I mean?
M: Yeah.
J: You can start at the bougiest club and you can end at the divest bar and that is one night.
M: Yeah. And I think too, you can avoid certain crowds. You can hide. You know what I mean?
J: A hundred percent.
M: Everyone has their own… Because, yeah, people are like, “Okay, I don’t want to see bros,” which is something interesting. When I was in Chicago, you’d be somewhere and it would be a vibe and there’d be music. And you’re like, “Okay, this is cool.” And then 15 bros just come in. But it would be every f*cking place. And I’m just like, “Oh, you can’t get away from them in Chicago.”
J: Yeah. Well, because there is a little bit of… The only word that can come to mind is segregation of groups. I feel like there has to be a better word, but it’s like-
M: Yeah, there’s a better… Like division. Well, everything has its own scene.
J: Totally. But that’s the thing is like you know if you’re out in a certain area, 15 bros aren’t going to show up. We are going to get a finance bro, 15 person rolling in-
M: In Ridgewood.
J: No, absolutely not. You’re safe in Ridgewood.
M: Yeah. But yeah, I guess what I do like about Miami, I feel like people dance more, which was not the vibe in California. I felt like it was very much like we’re all going to be over at someone’s house and chill or it’s way more like everything closes early. It’s not a party city, unless you’re a certain status and then you’re at someone’s house or something, which-
J: Yeah. Which is still a different vibe.
M: It’s a different vibe.
J: Yeah.
M: But I really like Miami, because I really hate when the music’s good and no one’s dancing.
J: Yeah. That’s tough.
M: Yeah. Or even, because now a lot of, or I guess pre-pandemic, but I guess still a lot of places where like… Disco was resurfacing.
J: I think it’s going to come back. I think-
M: It’s going to come back again.
J: Because I, in general, feel like New York of all, if you were to give New York a nightlife report card, I think that its dancing scores would be lower… Its lowest grade would be dancing. I don’t think New York is, but I think it’s getting better.
M: Interesting.
J: I feel like the dancing spots are getting better.
M: Yeah, I’ve always danced in New York, but it’s always again, bar lounges that have good DJs, but I’m listening to hip hop and these are mostly straight spaces, so. But disco, I felt like it was coming back pre-pandemic, where a lot of places were spinning disco and it would… It’s only fun if everyone’s dancing. If no one’s dancing and you’re just like, “Okay, well what is it?” I don’t know.
J: Yeah. Because you need more of the vibe built up because it’s not like we can sing along and it’s just the four of us-
M: Yeah, exactly.
J: Yeah, no. It’s a totally different vibe. Yeah.
M: Yeah. And then usually it’s like a deep cut disco that I’ve never heard of. So it’s like-
J: But it’s fun.
M: It’s fun if everyone’s dancing.
J: Exactly. Yeah.
M: But if it’s just like, “Okay, well I wanted to dance and no one’s dancing, and I don’t know any of this music, so.”
J: Yeah.
M: Yeah. It’s tough.
J: It’s tough. Well, this was perfect. Thank you so much for coming.
M: Of course. Thanks for having me.
J: Do you have anything you need to promote or want to promote?
M: When is this coming up?
J: Probably next month.
M: Okay. So you can follow… I’m like you can’t go to my show next week. You can follow me on Twitter. Or, you can follow me on Instagram. Somebody took Milly Tamarez on Instagram and on TikTok too.
J: Wait, no way. There’s a very famous or popular Jake Cornell on TikTok. The person who had Jake Cornell on Instagram for a while was a 12 year old boy that I’m not joking, upwards of maybe 75 of my friends followed because they just thought it was me.
M: Same. No. 80 people follow this Milly Tamarez and it’s a fake like a catfish one.
J: No!
M: They took my headshot.
J: That’s brutal.
Thank you so much for listening to “Going Out With Jake Cornell.” If you could please go and rate and review us on whatever you’re listening to this on, that would be really gorgeous for me in a huge way, so thank you.
And now, for some credits. “Going Out With Jake Cornell” is recorded in New York City and is produced by Keith Beavers and Katie Brown. The music you’re hearing is by Darbi Cicci. The cover art you’re probably looking at was photographed by M. Cooper and designed by Danielle Grinberg. And a special shoutout to VinePair co-founders Adam Teeter and Josh Malin for making all of this possible.
