In this swipe-happy age, we’re presented with seemingly infinite romantic options. As a result, the specificity of our dating preferences has evolved from “tall, dark and handsome” to “must enjoy a Dark ‘n’ Stormy.” In other words, while you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, you totally have the luxury to evaluate your dates based on their drinks.
We asked people to tell us what beverage choice or drinking habit weirds them out the most and serves as a total turn-off and dating deal breaker. Because while the whole “just be yourself” philosophy is great, it has its limits — and apparently they start at Smirnoff Ice.
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“I had an ex who drank beer with a straw. He even would put beer over ice. Hence why he’s an ex.” – Amber, 28
“White Russian, because you’re not The Dude — you’re just a dude.” – Diana, 29
“An Electric Iced Tea, because that means you’re probably just shy of 18 and I guess that’s why we’re standing in a comedy club off Times Square right now, literally the only place that won’t card you.” – Andrew, 29
“Drinks that are too complicated to make on a busy night at a bar: huge pet peeve of mine and also don’t waste the bartender’s time to overcompensate [for] your lack of drink knowledge.” – Danielle, 35
“Any -ini drink. I mean, go forth if you must, but be sure to sign a prenup.” – Mike, 38
“Jägerbomb on the first date because YOU’RE INSANE.” – Drew, 26
“I fundamentally can’t relate because a) when I find out someone likes to party, I’m washed over with relief, and b) I have never found a drink I don’t like.” – Sam, 29
“If you order a rum and Coke, I will judge you. What is this, high school?” – Mikela, 32
“Biggest drinking deal breaker: ‘I don’t drink.’” – Miro, 29
“If someone orders shots or any sort of hard liquor on an empty stomach they gotta go.” – Ganna, 23
“A deal breaker would be Bud Light. Bud Light sets the tone for their whole personality … And they definitely will murder you if you disrespect the American flag.” – Stephanie, 29
“Most girls that drink Jameson straight either a) have drinking problems, b) are insane, or c) both.” – Jay, 31
“If you seriously peruse the menu of fruity drink specials, I can’t do it. This is happy hour not amateur hour. [Also]: Adios Motherfucker, because I can’t date you once you die later that night.” – Joey, 26
“Long Island Iced Tea. Something about that order makes me feel like that person will die in a hazing accident.” – Dee, 25
“Flavored vodka, because I should be the only girl in the relationship.” – Nikki, 31
“If you can’t hobble yourself into a cab or drag yourself home after one or two baker’s dozen of drinks then I want nothing to do with you … You’re an adult! Know when to stop if you can’t hold your alcohol!” – Jeff, 37
“PBR because it’s basic, and if you’re drinking shitty beer, at least go local.” – Frances, 28
“Someone who orders just one drink, for the whole night. The horror.” – Lisa, 27
“I don’t have any deal breakers. Because even though certain drinking habits disgust me, I’m just that desperate.” – George, 31