Moms Party

Five moms walk into a bar. They are free from all responsibilities for three hours. Mom’s night out is happening. They all select different drinks from the bar as they lament their life choices and laugh about their latest parenting debacles. Here’s what their drinks of choice say about their very different parenting styles:

Wine

The mom who chooses a glass of wine is deep in the parenting trenches. She’s not drowning — yet — but she’s definitely in survival mode. She has more than one kid and they’re young. She’s exhibited a helicopter parenting moment once or twice, and she’s heavily involved in every activity her kids participate in.

Beer

The mom who chooses beer exudes more of a laissez-faire vibe. She’s a no- frills kind of parent. She’s not overly concerned about the whole parenting thing and she prefers a “kids will be kids” mantra. She definitely doesn’t engage in any helicopter parenting and her mothering approach is similar to her 1980s upbringing; think “free-range” parenting.

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Margarita

The mom who chooses a margarita is clearly the fun one. She’s making everyone laugh with her outrageous stories. Her kids may be embarrassed on occasion, but her kids’ friends always want to hang out at her house. She believes in rules and sets them but because she’s been at this whole parenting thing for a while now, she knows that kids need room to make mistakes and experiment. She hasn’t lost herself in motherhood and feels zero guilt for her “me time” because she believes it’s made her a better parent.

Martini

The mom who chooses a martini is constantly busy. She has a kid and a career that she’s passionate about. She’s currently juggling it all but worries about one of the precarious balls falling and tripping her. She has her phone out at all times because she never really leaves work behind and it helps her to feel more in control. Her parenting style involves a lot of compensating and the dreaded “working mom guilt.”

Bubbly

The mom who chooses Champagne or prosecco — anything bubbly, really — is an empty nester. She has survived parenting and lived to tell about it. She is the guiding light for her mom friends, proof that their kids will eventually wipe their own noses and bottoms and maybe even make it to college. Every night is cause for celebration for this mom. She’s having fun enjoying the benefits of kids who live somewhere other than her home and loves imparting the wisdom she’s gained.