Ask Adam: Do I Still Have to Pay for Women on Dates?

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Ask Adam: Do I Still Have to Pay for Women on Dates?

Send all questions to advice@vinepair.com

In these enlightened times, do I still have to pay for women on dates? 

Although these are enlightened times, you never should assume going into the date that it’s Dutch treatment. If you’ve done the asking, you should expect to do the paying. I assume if you’re asking, you’ve also picked the place, which means you know the costs involved in dining or having a drink there. The other person may not. Just in the same way you should be prepared to pay if you choose a really expensive wine on the list, you should be prepared to pay on a date for a place you’ve chosen. This should be true for both parties. Whoever asked the other out should be prepared to treat.

If you go to pay and your date offers to split it, you are more than welcome to let them. But don’t expect them to. And don’t get all huffy if they don’t offer. That probably won’t lead to a second date.

I had my heart set on a bottle from the list at a nice restaurant, but they were out of it. The wines the somm recommended to replace it were double the price. What’s my move here?
It’s always a huge disappointment when the wine you want on the list isn’t actually at the restaurant. And that’s not something that should happen often/ever if the restaurant is doing their job and keeping the list updated. But sometimes it still occurs.

In these instances, if there isn’t another wine in the category you were looking at for the price point — say you found a bottle of Nebbiolo for $50 while the rest on the list are closer to $100 — the somm should first try and recommend a wine to you that tastes similar and that’s around the same price. If there isn’t anything on the list that is similar or you aren’t in the mood for what the somm offers, you should ask if they are able to match the price of the bottle you wanted with a bottle in the same category. A good restaurant will be more than happy to do this.

What’s the best gin for a Negroni?
Whatever gin you like! It’s a Negroni — they are delicious no matter the gin. Still want some guidance. Don’t worry, we’ve got a list of seven great gins for making a delicious Negroni.

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