There’s nothing worse than winding up in a shitty bar. And I’m not talking about the good kind of shitty — the drab, rundown dive that’s been operating well beyond its time but is somehow still kicking, the kind of bar where you’ll find regulars holding court every night, and a bartender who knows everyone. No, the kind of shitty bar I am talking about is the truly shitty kind, a bar that is just awful. The crowd is terrible, the drinks are bad, and the ambiance just sucks. Here’s what makes a truly shitty bar:
Televisions Are All Over the Place
If this is Buffalo Wild Wings or some other sports bar, sure, have TVs everywhere tuned to the night’s game or SportsCenter. But if this is not one of those bars, and instead is an establishment with TVs blaring God knows what, this bar is truly shitty. If the bar thinks its guests can’t enjoy a conversation together, and instead need constant entertainment, this bar is not attracting the kind of crowd you want to be around.
The Crowd Is Only Interested In Getting Wasted
If you find yourself in an establishment advertising Jager Bombs and beer pong tournaments, you are in a truly shitty bar. These games and drinks draw a crowd no one wants to be around, and they create an atmosphere that’s more about getting drunk than hanging out with friends.
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The Tap Lines Are Gross
If you order a beer and it tastes off, even a little moldy, dirty or skunked, you’re in a place that doesn’t clear their tap lines, and that means they could care less about the quality of the beer they’re serving you. Don’t waste the calories.
There’s Ice In the Urinal
If there’s ice in the urinal, there’s also probably vomit on the floor. This is the type of bar bathroom you probably experienced a good bit of in college, but that doesn’t make the bar any less shitty. If they’re putting ice in the toilets, they’re trying to cover something up — probably the fact that they don’t care to actually keep the bathroom clean.
They’re Blasting Music
If the music is so loud that you can’t have a conversation and you aren’t in a club, you’re in a shitty bar. The only bars that should have music louder than conversations are dance clubs and venues where actual live music is being performed. Otherwise, stick to a good mix on medium volume and let people talk to one another. Are you seeing a theme here?
Your Drink Is Served In a Plastic Cup
If you’re at a bar where the drink is served in a plastic cup, it’s probably because the bar expects a lot of cups to be dropped on the floor. That means you’re at a place that’s probably a bit too lax with who they serve and how they serve them. Unless you want to wind up with beer spilled on you, you might want to turn around and walk out the door.