We all dream of that perfect romantic getaway weekend with our significant other. But while some dream of Paris, others dream of heart-shaped pools. That’s right, we said it. Believe it or not, there are more ridiculous “romantic” getaways in the United States than you’d think. Heart-shaped pools, ’70s-themed decor, and even seven-foot whirlpools in the shape of Champagne coupes honestly exist. We know what you’re thinking — who is actually going on these insanely cheesy getaways? Despite being slightly ridiculous, though, we have to admit, some of them are pretty awesome. Still looking for a way to celebrate V-Day? Turn up the love level this weekend with one of these super “romantic” getaways:
Madonna Inn – California
Complete with “whimsical guest rooms, enchanting decor, and resort amenities,” this place is all you’ll need for your Valentine’s Day celebration. Complete with spa, shopping, and terrace pool. In addition, for V-Day, the Inn is offering up horse-drawn carriage rides, dining specials, heart cakes, spa specials, and sugar cookies. That’s right. Sugar cookies.
Cove Haven – Pennsylvania
THIS PLACE HAS A SEVEN-FOOT-TALL CHAMPAGNE WHIRLPOOL BATH FOR TWO AND IN-SUITE HEART-SHAPED POOLS. Packages come with tickets to comedy shows and discount coupons for the outlet — because what’s more romantic than coupons???
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Hicksville – California
Look no further than the Honeymoon Suite for all of your romantic, ’70s-style needs, complete with a heart-shaped tub, king-sized waterbed, and wall-to-wall shag carpet. Mirrored ceiling included. How romantic.
Head to the “Biggest Little City in the World” for casinos, Animal Ark sanctuary, and the National Automobile Museum. Because nothing says “I love you” like gawking at rescued bears or 200 vintage cars.
“It’s the charm of Bavaria, in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains.” Is there anything more romantic than a trip to a replica town? We think not. Grab some brats, beers, and let the romance flow — you’ll feel just as if you were in Germany. Sort of.
Las Vegas – Nevada
Perfect for all of your super-romantic, spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous wedding needs. Most likely alcohol-induced, of course.
The Lodge at Wakulla Springs – Florida
“Surround yourself in nature in North Florida’s castle.” Equipped with the Edward Ball Dining Room, the largest marble soda fountain in the world, and a view of one of the largest springs in the country. Oh, and it’s a castle. Need we say more?
Caribbean Motel – Wildcrest, New Jersey
This “lovingly restored, vintage Doo Wop Motel” is perfect for those seeking a romantic blast into the past, specifically the 1950s. Perfect for ironic hipsters looking for that quintessential “vintage” feel. Heated crescent-shaped pool (seasonal) included.
Sybaris – Illinois
The resort describes itself as “a magical place where couples could shed the stress of daily life and re-acquaint themselves with love. An oasis of privacy — no windows, no phones. A special place dedicated to the enhancement of romantic marriage.” Plus, there’s a chain of rooms with various whirlpool suite options. So there’s that.
Any Sandals Resort – Various Locations
These self-proclaimed “perfect romantic getaways,” offer all-inclusive Caribbean vacations, perfect for long walks on the beach, sunsets, and sharing of frozen piña coladas. With one straw, of course.