Whether it’s the pub down the street or a swanky cocktail lounge a few neighborhoods over, most drinks lovers are regulars at at least one bar. Maybe they pop in often enough that the staff knows their name or perhaps they only frequent a few times a season. But if one thing is certain, it’s that having a preferred haunt does not equate to being a good regular. And to be one of your bartender’s preferred guests, it’s important to keep a few things in mind.
In a recent Reddit post, user spacecello42 posed a question to the professionals in the r/bartenders subreddit: What are qualities of your favorite regulars? While some of the responses seem relatively self-explanatory and extremely reasonable — such as “don’t keep talking to me while I’m obviously doing something else” — others, like “don’t crowd the service well,” might be a little harder to pick up on.
Curious to see if you have the qualities of bartenders’ favorite guests? Check out seven standards that make a good bar regular according to Reddit bartenders below.
They allow the bartender to engage with other customers.
If there’s anything that’s sure to tick your bartender off, it’s the assumption that you deserve all of their attention, all of the time. Unless you’re the only person at the bar, the person on the other side is always going to need to interact with other customers — and you need to let them. And even if you’re the only patron in the establishment, your bartender will still have other tasks that demand their attention. No matter how often you frequent the bar, neediness will never do.
User d0ctordoodoo commented:
“Not needy, know that I’ll get to them when I can, and don’t hold me hostage in a conversation if there’s a rush.”
They have a mutual understanding with the person serving them.
Sitting down at a bar will always require having a reciprocal relationship with the person behind it. You order, they serve, you pay, etc. But one of the most important relationships between bar patron and bartender is a mutual understanding when it comes to both individuals’ moods. If you can tell your bartender might be a bit more reserved that day, don’t continue pushing for conversation. In return, the bartender should always have the same respect for their regulars. Don’t feel like chatting? You shouldn’t have to.
User Mindless_Eggplant_60 commented:
“My absolute favorite regulars:
A mutual understanding. You in a chatting mood? Cool. You can tell my brains are potatoes today and i can’t maintain the best chitchat but don’t hold it against me. cool. In return, you want to be left alone today and have a drink. Cool. It’s just nice when we can understand each other and i don’t have to necessarily put on bartender personality and regular doesn’t have to feel put on the spot to be conversational if they don’t feel like it.”
They’re aware of the space they take up in the bar.
Self-awareness is always a great quality to have, and it’s one that should always reflect in bar patrons’ behavior. For example, if the bar is on the quieter side, it’s probably best to keep your voice down. If it’s dark, don’t repeatedly take photo after photo with the flash on. And if you’ve been seated at the bar for a lengthy period of time and only ordered one drink, it might be best to make room for others looking to sit down and order a few rounds.
User dwylth commented:
“Know the space you occupy. Be aware of how your presence is felt in the room. If you’re sitting at the bar and are nursing one beer an hour and it suddenly gets busy, either keep up or make room.
ETA: Never expect special treatment, appreciate it when you do get it.”
They’re unknown.
While this quality might seem counterintuitive — if you’re a regular, the bartender probably knows who you are — in essence, it likely alludes to the fact that good regulars aren’t demanding. They simply come in, order a drink, and enjoy their time on their own or with the other members of their party. They don’t make a spectacle of themselves for simply visiting the bar often.
User TikaPants commented:
“How to be a good regular is how to be a good unknown customer.”
Their tips are reflective of how long they were there, not based on the cost of the tab.
As Americans, we’re taught that leaving a 20 percent tip is compulsory when paying the bill. But if you’re a bar regular camping out for hours on end and not ordering much, you should probably toss in a few extra dollars. While it wouldn’t necessarily be wrong to tip the standard amount for a beer or two after an hour or two, if you’ve been there longer than that, your tip should probably reflect the time you were occupying a seat.
User BBQShoe commented:
“I always factor in how long I’ve been lingering around in to what I tip. I stopped drinking a while back, but I still frequent my neighborhood bar a few times per week for dinner and usually hang out for quite a while because it’s always full of folks I know around the neighborhood. Absolutely no way am I going to hang out for 2-3 hours and just tip 20% on my $18 tab”
They’re patient, observant, and understanding.
Bars are often busy places and bartenders aren’t always able to serve guests as quickly as they’d like to. In these instances, giving your bartender a bit of grace — especially as a regular — often goes a long way. If you hang out at the bar often, you probably understand that the person behind the stick will get to you soon and give you exactly what you want. Refraining from rushing them to do so is likely going to earn you a few brownie points, and maybe even a free drink.
User Vajennie commented:
“Being friendly and observant while respecting that I’m at work. When it’s busy, my favorites tend to get served last because I know that they’ll be patient and understanding. And I’ll probably reward them by comping a drink.”
They are always respectful of the bartender’s boundaries.
If there’s one commonality in responses on this Reddit thread, it’s that under no circumstances should bar regulars expect special treatment. Yes, you might frequent the bar and know the staff well, but it is important to remember that you are still a paying customer, not a close personal friend. The bar’s rules — including what time it opens and closes — will remain the same for all guests, and it’s highly unlikely that exceptions will be made for regulars. If you assume they’ll be made for you, you might not be a very good regular.
User GAMGAlways commented:
“1. Don’t expect special treatment regarding hours of operation. We open/close the same time for everyone.
2. Don’t flex being a regular. Don’t tell others you’re a regular or suggest it’s ok to stay an hour past close because you’re a regular.
3. Don’t talk to me when I’m obviously busy. Remember I’m at work. I’m doing my job.
4. Don’t be overfamiliar. There’s a bit of room here because all relationships are different, including professional ones. However please remember I’m still a bartender and you’re still a customer. Unless we’ve clearly reached that level of comfort, don’t ask personal questions. For example, I recently had a biopsy and had a visible bandaid over the site and a regular asked me about it. Boundaries, please.
5. If you vibe especially well with a particular bartender, don’t hand a cash tip to him or her and say, “this is for YOU.” It’s awkward. I’m working as part of a team and I have time to devote to you because my coworker is covering service well and other guests.
6. Typically, one bartender is covering the service well and making drinks for the dining room. Please don’t talk to that person, it’s the equivalent of going into the kitchen and bothering the line cooks. I’m a dozen tickets deep and I don’t have time to get you bread.
ETA: Do not ask for my social media accounts. Do not track me down on social media platforms and ask to follow me. There may be personal components there. I don’t want a follow request from you because that might be awkward if there’s anything there that’s private.”
