26 Wine Labels That Have No Time For Your Crap

1 minute Read

Wine Labels Header

We all say some crazy things while cracking open a bottle of wine. Maybe we’ve had a long day, or we’ve had some bumps in a relationship, or maybe we’re just trying to let loose.

But what if wine could talk back? What if the bottle you see on the shelf already knew what was going to happen before you put it in your shopping cart? What if that wine truly didn’t care about your feelings and had a filter as great as your grandmother after a glass or two of Pinot Grigio?

These honest wine bottles are just that, and they take no prisoners.

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Glass

Think, Olivia Pope big.

Here's To Not Having A Mental Breakdown

Some of us are not so lucky, cheers to you.

Drink Me With Post-Break-Up Anger And Takeout

Because nothing goes better with burning your ex’s things than some Thai curry.

 How people survive with just coffee is still a mystery.

Drunk In Love? Maybe? We be all night, WINEEEEEEEEE.

Single By "Choice" Is Totally A Thing Trust us, this is fine.

Just Add Sprite And Whatever Dignity You Have Left There’s no going back now.

Malbec Is The New Black Pairs well with an intense Netflix binge.

You're Turning Into Your Mother What’s next? Ice cubes in your Chardonnay?

Yes, You're Definitely On Key Alright Mariah, settle down.

Yes Way Rosé Hamptons Gatorade for days.

Whatever You Do, Don't Turn Me Into SangriaEven your wine has higher standards than you do.

Drink Me And Call Your LoverThere are no flaws in this plan. Absolutely no flaws.

Much Wine, Very TastyWow. So grape. Nice.

Don't Worry About Storing The Rest Of MeYou don’t need to vacuum seal this one.

100% Real Whine JuiceCarefully harvested by specialists who ‘seriously can’t even.’

Please Step Down From The Kitchen TableThis isn’t the dirty picnic table you fell off of during college.

You And I Both Know You'll Be Crying LaterJust please don’t get hysterical and start punching random things.

No, I Don't Want No ScrubTrying to get with me, with no money?

I Am Seriously Tired Of Your ShitAnd this bottle isn’t the only one who is, cough, cough.

Don't You Dare Start Tweeting#IHopeMyBossDoesntSeeThis #Blessed

More Like "Two Buck F***-Yeah I'm Not Broke"At least you won’t be completely out of money.

It's F***king Wine WednesdayLiterally our favorite day of the week.

Pairs Well With Bitching About WorkI love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

Please Don't Drink And Dial, You Know BetterAnd don’t you dare let Siri do the work for you since you can’t even type in your passcode.

You Brought Me To Do ThisThis is all your fault *sips wine*.

, ,

Go home wine, you're drunk. These sassy labels need to be sent home in an Uber.

Share This!