Since we can’t all be Ryan Gosling memes, some of us have to do our best to say cool-sounding stuff in person. The basic goal: stop someone in their social tracks and, within 15 seconds, be as charming/witty/adorably sleazy as possible to lay the groundwork for a possible hook-up, and quite possibly a free bagel or egg sandwich the next day. Not that these methods tend to work nowadays—really, the pick up line is about 100 characters too long for our attention spans. But since you can’t send a Bitmoji to someone until you get their number, and since retro seems to be making some kind of lazy cultural comeback, we figured why not resuscitate the old pick up line, booze style?
To be perfectly clear, we don’t support/approve/or claim authorship of any of these. As with anything hilarious and terrifying, it’s all culled from The Internet. And as professionals, we don’t recommend you use these anywhere, with any serious romantic expectation.
Also, while pick up lines are historically gender stereotyped, they happen to all of us, the best and worst of us, so while some of these are clearly meant for the ladies, don’t assume you’re safe from the slick, smooth sounds of these boozy pick up lines.
Drink In The Love…
“Pretty sure my vodka rocks is jealous.” (But why???) “Because you’re the most intoxicating thing in this place.”
“Think I’m gonna go ahead and put these handles back on the shelf, cuz girl/boy, you’ve already got a hold on me.”
“I don’t need another glass of wine.” (But why???) “’Cuz girl/guy, I could just get drunk on your love.”
“I wish I was a glass of whiskey, girl/guy.” (But why???) “So you could hold me in your hands and nurse me.”
“Did you slip some Fireball into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?”
“That bottle of whiskey is 40% ABV. Do you really need any more proof to come home with me tonight?”
“Woops. Looks like you owe me a drink, girl/guy.” (But why???) “Because I dropped mine when you walked by just now.”
“I would buy you a drink, baby, but then I’d be so jealous of the glass.”
“Heard you ordered Sex on the Beach. I got some suntan lotion…”
“Yeah, I get that the whiskey is from Tennessee, but you’re the only 10 I see.”
“This ain’t no beer belly. It’s the gas tank for my love machine.”
“You remind me of a tumbler of whiskey. You’re mature, smooth, and I’ll definitely be pounding you tonight.”