Easter and cocktails aren’t really a thing. Let’s all admit that, immediately, and move on. But Easter and drinking—wine? white wine?—are often a thing. Especially when you’re trying to pretend like you don’t know where that obvious bright blue plastic egg is while some pasteled kid runs around screaming for another jelly bean fix.
So, yeah. Drinking. Easter. No religious connotations implied, but it can be a viable drinking holiday. (Says someone who has rationalized Flag Day as a day drinking kind of situation.) In that spirit, we’ve put together a few viable/passable Easter cocktails. We’re not talking a straight Hemingway Daiquiri you sip while recounting what life might have been like if only you took that assignment in Spain. We mean easy, fun, slightly stupid Easter drinks. Pink, yellow, soft, sweet. A little bit of booze because, also, we can all admit, we kind of miss getting those baskets.
Yes, this is a Mother’s Day cocktail. But look at how pink and delightful it is? Pink is obviously a requisite Easter color. In fact, where the hell else does pink live? But with mint, vodka, champagne, and yes, some cranberry juice (good for the bladder) this might be a nice salve to sitting back and watching your child eat an Easter egg with the shell still on.
Until Peeps comes up with a way to turn a sugary marshmallow into a firework, Christmas tree, or menorah, we’ve got them, always, for Easter. So why not dunk those smiling sugary bastards into booze? This one might kill you, and the Peep. Vodka (cherry vodka), Triple Sec, half and half. Drink slowly, enjoy, repent.
There’s a six-minute assembly video on CocktailDudes.com. For the Jelly Bean-itini (also, why not “Jelly Beantini”?). It’s raspberry rum, which is a thing despite all goodwill and hope for a better future, vanilla vodka, pineapple juice, and grenadine. And a sh*t ton of jelly beans in the glass.
This cocktail might actually be proof that god doesn’t exist (or if he does, he’s super pissed). Basically a Mojito—clean, fresh, innocent—delightfully corrupted with chocolate liqueur and, yes, muddled Cadbury Eggs. They say “crème eggs,” but not sure there’s anyone else filling milk chocolate egg shapes with fake gooey sugar duck embryo.
The good people at The Cocktail Challenge (you should check it out) saw fit to dive into the unexplored hard boiled egg/booze pool. Meaning you can actually do something with all those goddam dyed eggs. Celina Dzyacky of Lula Café does her very best (and it kind of looks good?) muddling eggs, adding heavy cream, dosing it with smooth Pisco, and probably saying a prayer, or seven. Seriously, though. Kudos.
Alright, if you insist on getting fancy, and want something kind of yellow-ish, for Easter, this might do you right. The best thing about this drink—besides the Mediterranean love story between lemon and rosemary—is it’s fairly easy. Assuming you (like the rest of us) made your rosemary simple syrup ahead of time. Don’t freak out, if not. Honestly, you can muddle some rosemary (beat the sh*t out of it) and strain it out. Add simple syrup, and you’re golden. Or yellow. Ish.