It seems like there’s a new Marvel or DC flick dropping every summer — not to mention winter weekend. (We see you, Black Panther.) While there are important themes and valuable lessons one can take away from these stories (courage, integrity, sacrifice, using good to triumph over evil, blah blah blah), we’re going to keep the focus on something we believe is equally important: what to drink based on your favorite big-screen superhero.
Just remember, these cocktails won’t actually give you superpowers, although after a few, you might just feel like it.
Superman: Vodka Red Bull
While the Man of Steel already possesses the gift of flight, we — real, non-fictional beings — need a little help in that department.
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Enter Red Bull, which, as we all know, gives you wings! An energy drink, it’s also sure to make you faster than a speeding bullet, or at least slightly faster than you were before. Add vodka, and voila! You’ll soon be transformed from your normal, Clark Kent-like self into the superhero of your own story. (Until the hangover hits, at least. That right there’s your real kryptonite.)
Black Panther: Gin Martini
Marvel admittedly doesn’t mention whether the heart-shaped herb that gives Black Panther a superhuman skill set complements such botanicals as juniper berries and coriander, but we’re going with it and thinking the Wakanda royal might appreciate a classic gin Martini.
This is also a cocktail that is easily batched for a crowd — and seeing as how Black Panther is on track for a potentially record-breaking, $150 million-plus opening weekend, that might not be such a bad idea.
Captain America: Budweiser
As the average bar isn’t likely to offer a Superhero Serum & Soda, Captain America — formerly known as Steve Rogers — would have no choice but to settle for something more mass produced, and everyone knows it doesn’t get more patriotic than “The Great American Lager.”
While the stars-and-stripes-adorned adonis is probably too busy saving the world from terrorist threats to spend much time crushin’ cold ones with the boys, any time the Avengers have a backyard barbecue, you know he’s rollin’ up with a six-pack of Bud Heavy. To honor your country, we suggest you do the same. ‘MERICA!
Wonder Woman: Tequila Shot
As a goddess, ambassador, and evil force-fighting female member of the Justice League, Wonder Woman doesn’t have time for any nonsense — or sitting down for an entire drink. What a badass hero needs is a badass shot and, as a proven bone strengthener, tequila isn’t just for dancing on tables, it’s also conducive to slamming bad guys through them.
Now grab your friends, some salt, and some limes, and throw a few back in her honor. Who needs a Lasso of Truth when you have tequila?
Incredible Hulk: Four Loko
Hulk smash? More like Hulk get smashed.
Before booze-infused energy drink Four Loko removed caffeine from its product in 2010, the beverage was infamous for its consumers’ blacked-out antics, which bear shocking resemblance to the “destructive rampages and conflicts that complicate [Bruce] Banner’s civilian life.” (Although Four Loko definitely doesn’t give you superhuman strength, and Banner probably never woke up in a pool of his own vomit.)
While you can no longer purchase the original, caffeine-packed potion — except maybe on the dark web — there’s always the less-Loko, less-likely-to-kill-you reboot. Those feeling especially superhuman can also try homebrewing your own Four Loko. (BYO caffeine pills.)
Batman: “Champagne” (but actually ginger ale)
While fraternizing with Gotham City socialites at lavish events, Bruce Wayne had to keep his wits about him. He may have played the part of Champagne-sipping playboy, but it was actually ginger ale, not bubbly, in the caped crusader’s cup.
If you, like the hero, want to maintain your mental acuity while still being perceived as a party animal — rather than a costumed crime fighter — simply grab a flute and fill ‘er up with Canada Dry. (Or just opt for the real thing and pop a bottle. After all, it’s not like you have to stay sober while waiting for a bat signal.)
Black Widow: Moscow Mule
Next time you hit the bar, honor the origins of former Russian spy Natasha Romanova — a.k.a. the Black Widow— by Putin back a few Moscow Mules. While the vodka, lime, and ginger beer concoction isn’t likely to give you the acrobatic prowess and martial arts proficiency possessed by the Marvel hero, it might just give you the confidence necessary to pull off a skintight black jumpsuit, and hey, that’s half the battle, anyway.
(Other acceptable options include the White Russian and, of course, straight vodka. Much like the Black Widow, we’re flexible.)
Daredevil: Long Island Iced Tea
Normal, sensible humans might be hesitant to consume a cocktail containing rum, tequila, gin, and vodka. Channel the “Man Without Fear,” who would have no problem downing this notorious drink. Just keep in mind that you, unlike the blind superhero, might be seeing double. When you’re stumbling home from the bar at 2:00 a.m., you’re really going to wish you had his radar sense.
Remember, being hydrated is totally heroic — and every group needs a designated driver.