It’s no secret that craft beer plays fast and loose with its names and labels. Remember that unfortunate episode of the brewery that had to apologize last year for allowing a beer named “Date Grape” to become a finalist in its campaign? These labels are nothing new. Using humor and sex when naming and labeling beer has been the norm forever, because guys, dudes, and bros have classically been the target consumer for beer.
Recently, in an effort to curb the sexism of these labels, the Brewers Association said that they will allow offensively named beers into its membership and awards, but winners with offensive names “will not be celebrated during awards ceremonies.” But such serious measures are not the only way to curb sexism in beer labeling.
Perhaps it’s time that we check out what these labels would look like if the roles were reversed. After all, the number of women beer drinkers has been on a steady rise and it’s certainly time that (at least) beer companies used the same tactics they use to market their products to women, as they do for men. If beer companies think that a man will look at a sexualized woman on a label and decide to drink the beer for that reason, well, us ladies have our own needs to contend with.
Take for example, Deep Elum Brewing. A couple of years ago they came out with their blonde ale and named it Dallas Blonde Goes Down Easy, with the image of a little girl’s doll. Folks were understandably up in arms and yet, Deep Elum defended their label, saying that the name was meant to convey that “this is a light beer that is easy to drink.” Instead of a little doll, how about this lovely young specimen:
Oh, ladies, this Dallas Blonde is a keeper. It’s about time a beer company encouraged efforts on behalf of her pleasure in such a fun and unique way. If an image of a little girl doll coupled with “goes down easy” can get men to buy a beer, surely the thought of this lovely blondie at your service is enough to make any women pay up… for beer.
Next up, consider Clown Shoes original Brown Angel. Remember when Clown Shoes CEO Gregg Berman defended the offensive label by noting that his wife is a “brown woman?” Well, we thought we’d use our Fantasy Brown Man Husband to serve the ladies a little something they can get behind, if you catch my drift:
Clown Shoes, you know EXACTLY what a girl wants, and maybe even what a girl needs — in a beer! In fact, Clown Shoes is all about pleasing the ladies. They have another beer that all my ladies will definitely be bringing home six-packs of this weekend. Remember this classic, the Tramp Stamp beer — popular, I guess, among men who want to have sex with a woman with a back tattoo and therefore will drink a beer named for it?
Instead, I give you, the War Eagle:
So much delicious, non-offensive great-tasting beer, so little time. If you’re a lady who’s wanted to have a little roll in the hay with a delightfully tattooed dude, this beer will definitely satisfy your taste buds.
And check out another great Belgian IPA, courtesy of Flying Dog Brewery. We know men love drinking a beer called Raging Bitch because it makes them feel all powerful to consume that bitch and thereby put an end to her, right (guessing here)? Well, ladies, I give you the Fuck Boy:
A fuckboy may be the worst kind of guy – and arguably the worst kind of beer — but that doesn’t stop us from reaching for it simply because it is all that is being offered. This beer is meant to be consumed in your twenties, not with pride, but with the knowledge that there is probably better beer out there, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can begin to drink a beer you actually enjoy. You know, one that won’t give you a venereal disease. Speaking of which, we bring you our final beer of the lineup:
I could make the argument that given 2016’s polling results, this beer would do quite well among the ladies. But even among the rest of us, it turns out that ladies have had it with misogyny, sexual harassment, and being objectified in every conceivable way. What better way to bring attention to National Sexual Assault awareness month than to turn one of the most ardent defenders of sexual harassment into an a degraded sexualized object on a product he vehemently dislikes, as an act of protest?