Welcome to the holidays, friends and soothsayers. The nimble new moon that came into the night sky on November 29 is bringing people of all stripes and signs into December refreshed and ready to start anew. Now we can all wade into the time of Sagittarius with gumption and a fresh drink in our hand — a drink specially designed for your sign.
Set aside your suspicions — this drink is right for you; I am guided through these choices by the secret wisdom found in the stars. Cheers, my Comrades in the Stars!
Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)
Your fire will burn bright in December, so let yourself get lost in the heat of passion. Passion of all sorts — artistic, romantic, even anger — will flare up from your toes and won’t cool to an ember until around December 0, when a Capricorn in your life will consume your attention (and not in a good way). Drink gin martinis dry with abandon and let the mood of the moment lead your decisions.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
You’re going to be tempted to confront a boss at some point in December, and my only recommendation is to wait. You deserve that raise and you deserve something new, but with patience will come reward. Find something new in the immediate hour with a bottle of Lambrusco, and know that your golden hour is nigh.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
The waves of time will repeatedly bring you down after raising you up throughout December. Ride those waves. Push through, even though you will at times feel like the food passed between a mother bird and her child. Drink the classic cure for the common cold, the hot toddy, and you will find that the drink cures more than just your every day sickness.
Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
Your overwhelming urge to help others will surge stronger than usual in the uncommon cold of December. Let your empathy guide your art this month when creating gifts and preparing for the new year — you won’t be disappointed in the results. Drink Framboise throughout the day. The low alcohol will help motivate your artistic innovation while keeping you sharp at the same time.
Aries (March 21 to April 19)
Your fire will burn bright as well, just like the Sagittarius this month. Be careful about butting heads, because Mars is your planet and won’t enter Aries until late January. You’ll instead want to drink something with history that is well traveled, to lean on the wisdom of ages. Drink Sherry.
Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
Winter will have you searching the internet for cheap tickets to tropical locations, coral bleaching be damned. You will find more friends at home, however, both old and new. Find that tropical life instead in a glass of mezcal, served neat.
Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
Don’t lose sight of the future as emotions about the past rise up. As much as you loved Two Buck Chuck, it is gone forever; it’s time to get past that — and every other slight in your past, because December 2016 to December 2017 will be filled with strong positive financial motion. Drink a nice bourbon, move past the discount wine, and learn about the complexity in a glass of Kentucky sipping water.
Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
Let your lazy take over in December. When people expect an extra burst of energy during the holiday party, don’t feel obligated to meet their demands. In that strong calm you’ll find a connection with another person who shares your lifestyle. Grab a glass of vintage Champagne when you walk into the party, and if your friends are too cheap for that, then bring some of your own to share a glass with that new special someone.
Leo (July 23 to August 22)
Let your mane flow free in the cold, cold winds of December. Forget about the crowds in your kingdom that normally gather around you and find common ground with someone outside your comfort zone — preferably by a fireplace in a leather chair with a White Russian in hand.
Virgo (August 23 to September 22)
You’ll get caught up in the holiday season this year, and you should let yourself. Forget what the critics say: drink Beaujolais.
Libra (September 23 to October 22)
Balance Libras, balance. Mercury will go into retrograde on December 19 and your life will start to slow. Cool off from the excess that was last month with some winter bock — moderate in alcohol, yet heavy enough to match the season.
Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)
Life is going to get hard this December, just like it does nearly every other winter for Scorpios. Your notorious tendency for mood swings might leave you in tears at the bar or leaving with someone in your arms (or in someone’s arms). Embrace what comes to you, but don’t let it dictate how you live your life. Drink cider, but not the sweet stuff. Drink craft ciders that pair well with food.