Ah, breakups are hard. Made even harder when they happen out in public, over a long meal. If you’re in the unfortunate circumstance of being broken up with at a restaurant, it seems fairly clear to me that you should not be the one to pay for that meal. That’s just adding insult to injury. I’m sorry, it’s not working out. You don’t mind getting this, do you? Woof.

Similarly, if you ask your partner out to dinner with the explicit intention of breaking up with them, you should 100 percent plan to pay for that meal. Don’t be a cretin. (And do everyone a favor and make it a casual meal or maybe even a lunch? There are few things more uncomfortable than witnessing a breakup at a fancy restaurant, not to mention if there are tears.) If you’re not prepared to pay, then perhaps you should consider breaking up with them in the privacy of their home, so you can promptly gather your belongings and leave — no tip or public performance necessary.

I will offer a caveat, though: If you’re breaking up with a total jerk, like the kind of person who knows they’re a total jerk and seriously deserves it, then they should definitely pay for the meal. Footing one last bill is the least they could do for their bad behavior and any emotional hardship they’ve caused.

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