We’re not trying to intrude on a private matter here. We know each person celebrates National Tequila Day in his or her own way, typically with a solemn riverside ceremony that culminates in the lighting of paper lanterns. And the taking of many shots.
But since we reserve every other day of the year for normal kinds of tequila appreciation, we wanted to get in on the inevitable funfest that any compulsory tequila appreciation day would bring about. And since everybody else is gonna cover the Margarita recipes and budget bottles (though we got those, too), we figured we’d tread to the fringes of the tequila world and scare up some of the weirdest, loveliest, and most expensive bottles out there.
We’re not trying to turn tequila into a sideshow here: if anything, we’re advocates of the “tequila transition,” basically the point in life where your tequila appreciation lurches its evolutionary way out of a Margarita glass and into a tumbler of righteous añejo.
Don Julio
An older design for the extra añejo offering, this is a bottle that knows it’s special. Really, it sort of looks like it’s trying to hold onto itself, although those actually are Blue Weber agave fronds (the cap is another nod to tequila’s source plant).
Tequila Hijos de Villa
For some reason, certain tequila and liquor bottles insist on weaponry themes. This one makes more sense if you see it next to other Hijos de Villa offerings. Otherwise it’s a bit … confusing. Sleek, certainly. And $150.
1800 Essential Artist Series
1800 isn’t messing around with its annual artist series. It goes for big names, big art-world names anyway, and gets some pretty interesting designs on its bottles.
Voodoo Tiki Tequila
This one’s mostly an odd sight because tiki and tequila don’t often meet. Yes, the bottle looks angry at you, but when you get to the flavored stuff, it gets pleasantly blue.
Los Azulejos
Los Azulejos has a whole line of interesting, typically opaque, bottles, but we’re big fans of the Skelly series, what with the whole Mexico/Day of the Dead connection. Death doesn’t come cheaply, apparently — about $200 for the set.
Tres, Cuatro, y Cinco
Not only did Mexico City-based artist Alonso Gonzales Jr. come up with this fluid, sleek design for this blend of añejo tequilas, he actually signed every single crystal bottle. Add on what the bottle contains, and you might just end up staring appreciatively for a while.
Patron
This one might seem reserved compared with some of the others, but it’s special. Believe us, $7,500 special, to be exact. Created by French crystal company Lalique, it’s Patron’s homage to the agave plant, which you can see reflected most easily (and elegantly, blah blah blah) in the cap.
Asombroso La Rosa
Yeah, suggestive is all we’re gonna say about this particular bottle shape. Whatever they have to say about it, well, that’s for them to say. Point of non-anatomical interest: it’s Bordeaux barrel-aged, hence the nickname La Rosa.