If 2016 were a bottle of wine, it would be a beautiful Cabernet that you’ve been aging for years in your basement, only to open it and take a sip of vinegar. This year has been the literal worst and the only way to cope with the hot mess commonly known as 2016 is to pop open a case of Champagne and have a New Year’s Eve party to remember. After all, it’s better to end the year with a bang and start fresh come January 1.
Whether you’re hosting this year or heading over to a close friend’s house, here’s what to look forward to at this year’s NYE rager:
Everybody will say they’re going to bring a specific dish to share — none of them will actually bring said dish.
That one girl will drink WAY too much sparkling rosé.
That one guy who keeps beefing up his resolution to get in shape will continues to inhale cookies from the dessert table.
If the party is collaboratively making dinner, something will go wrong because tipsy chefs often forego using a timer.
Somebody will make moves to go out to a bar or see some type of object “drop.”
After arriving at said location to see said object mechanically lower from the sky, everyone will realize that they should’ve watched it on TV.
Red wine will be spilled on a carpet.
Wine will also be spilled on someone’s new shirt.
The super lovey-dovey couple will hype the shit out of their first NYE kiss.
Only to miss it because one of them will be in the bathroom during the countdown.
The #SingleSquad will make a drinking game out of people posting wedding photos on their Facebook feeds.
Thus, the entire #SingleSquad will ring in the New Year by making out with a bottle of Champagne.
Those two friends who TOTALLY have chemistry will kiss at midnight.
Only to realize the next morning how heavily their “bubbly goggles” impacted their decisions.
Somebody will have a close call with an illegal firework.
But then brush it off by knocking back a shot of tequila.
A political debate will occur. Nobody will win.
Everyone will stay up super late even though they’re internally screaming how tired they are.
Somebody will break out some kind of spirit that under normal circumstances nobody would ever touch (hello, peppermint schnapps!), but because it’s NYE everybody will decide to go wild over it.
Brunch plans will be made. However, those plans are extremely fragile as nobody will be able to beat the upcoming hangover.
Half of the party will write off NYE parties forever and the other half will already be planning next year’s shindig.
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Above all, everyone will do their best to make sure 2017 doesn’t completely suck.