Believe it or not, Fiji only has ONE double-decker floating bar. I know, right? Talk about a lack of basic amenities.
Now, we all know an island bar in the beautiful otherworldly crystalline gorgeousness of Fiji is a place where only the most exquisite of the exquisites go. The kind of place where Leonardo DiCaprio might have to actually stand on line. (No, we take that back. Dude’s probably gonna enter heaven through the kitchen entrance by the back alley and high five St. Peter.)
Yes, friends, it’s the kind of place we can only dream of—and/or waste several paychecks to splurge on. It’s called Cloud 9, because, you know, modesty. And it’s amazing.
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It’s also advertised as Fiji’s “only two level floating platform with an internationally stocked bar and Italian wood-fired pizza.” Why anyone would choose to put a wood-fired oven on a double decker wooden floating bar is a mystery to us, but they did it. And they’re living the high life in Fiji, so they know better.
According to the site, Cloud 9 “caters to all events at the ocean,” which is a phrase we just fell in love with. Sure, they mean stuff more along the lines of “your special day tying the knot, a unique private party, or a corporate function with a twist!” (We expect that “twist” to be Gary getting too drunk and admitting he’s in love with Felicia.) But the idea of “all events at the ocean” brings to mind other possible Cloud 9 events, e.g. porpoise birth, whale shiva, and, of course, mass sponge migration (Ghostbusters, folks).
Whatever aquatic events you might be able to witness on Cloud 9, fine. But what about the whole bar aspect? What can an incredibly fabulous, possible Kardashian second cousin, get to drink in floating paradise? According to Cloud 9, there’s a “fully stocked bar with International top shelf drinks as well as the local favourites of Fiji Gold, Fiji Bitter, and Fiji Rum Co!” (beer, beer, and rum).
Don’t forget, “depending on the day, we have a cutting edge music policy.” Yes, that is how Cloud 9 introduces its music. Fair enough, a language barrier. But they do seem super psyched about how cutting edge a legal document about music seems? Just like Jay Z.
In case you were worried about cocktail or cuisine authenticity, Cloud 9 wants to reassure you: “our scrumptious pizzas are hand made and cooked by our Fijian chef,” mmmm yeah, “for your convenience.”