7 Ways Wine Can Leave You Needing A Lawyer

To most of us, wine is something that allows us to kick back, relax and enjoy some of the finer things in life. While that is the intention, things don’t always end up as planned. That certainly wasn’t the case in the situations below. These are 7 ways in which wine could leave you needing a lawyer…

When you crash your forklift into a container causing it to topple and break 461 cases of red wine valued at $1M in the process

Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. The 461 cases of Mollydooker Velvet Grove within the container were being loaded onto a vessel for export to the U.S. from Adelaide, Australia in 2011 in anticipation of Mollydooker’s U.S. launch. When the container crashed from the forklift, the resulting 18 foot drop crushed the majority of the wine within, which was valued at $1M! When they opened the container, it apparently looked “like a murder scene” with red wine covering everything. On a bright note, everyone noted how the smell was phenomenal. We suppose there isn’t much else you can do besides look at the bright side when something like that happens. Kudos to Mollydooker Wines!

When you feed red wine to your cattle in order to improve the quality of their meat

Only in Canada. In 2010, a number of ranchers in British Columbia were under scrutiny by the Canada Food Inspection Agency for allegedly feeding their cows wine – up to a litre a day – in the final 90 days of their lives. According to one of the ranchers, Ms. Ravndahl, the cattle perked up at the sight of aged wine being brought toward them. And can you blame them? I’d drink all I could get my hands on knowing that I was destined for the slaughterhouse in the next 90 days. Wine, beer, vodka… give me anything you got! In Ms. Ravndahl’s defense, feeding the cows wine apparently improved the quality of their meat and even had a positive impact on the environment – that’s because the chemicals included in wine lowered the amount of methane belched by cows. Who would’ve known?

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When a Fox News reporter smashes her face into the ground after losing her balance while engaging in a grape-stomping contest, which you talked her into

This is an old one that you may have come across before: in 2006, Atlanta Reporter Melissa Sander suffered an unfortunate “loss of balance” which resulted in an awkward fall while being challenged to a grape-stomping contest on live television. Ms. Sander participated in the challenge but after about 20 seconds announced that she’d like to stop the race. Instead of stopping, however, she tried to sneak another few stomps in, after which she lost her balance and fell over. This performance resulted in her becoming coined the Grape Lady, and is a memory that is imprinted on the minds of many. Although she didn’t take the winery that challenged her to court, I’d certainly have my lawyer ready if I were walking in her shoes.

When $500,000 worth of white wine flows down the drain after you crash your truck into a car

In March of 2014, in Seaton, Australia, a truck and car collided resulting in more than just a couple of dents. Although both the lorry driver, the driver of the sedan, and the baby strapped in the back of the sedan remained unscathed, the wine that was being transported by the truck wasn’t so lucky. The crash resulted in a burst of the bladder that carried the wine, resulting in expensive white wine gushing into the street and going down the drain – literally. Around 11 tonnes of wine was said to have gushed down the drain for up to an hour, which was valued at around $500,000. What a waste!

When you get caught threatening to poison one of the most prestigious vineyards, unless the owner coughs up $1M in ransom

This is what happened in January 2010, when Aubert de Villaine, who owns Romanee-Conti – the most prestigious vineyards in Burgundy, France and probably the most famous vineyard in the world – came home one night to find a cardboard cylinder addressed to him. Inside he found two items: the first was a very detailed drawing of his vineyard with every single vine marked, and the second was a note informing him that if he wanted his vines to live, he’d have to cough up a ransom of over $1M. Mr. Villaine immediately contacted the police, and it wasn’t long before a certain man by the name of Jacques Soltys was caught and admitted to committing the crime. Mr. Soltys explained that he committed the crime because he felt that all vineyards in Burgundy were owned by wealthy French aristocrats and noblemen. He figured they wouldn’t want any trouble and would simply pay him just to go away. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite pan out as he had planned. Better luck next time, Jacques!

When you (as a lawyer) seek the return of 2,400 seized bottles worth $125,000 after being accused of selling these wines from your home illegally to an undercover cop

This shows that even lawyers are in need of lawyers sometimes. In August of 2014, a gentleman by the name of Arthur Goldman was accused of selling expensive wines from his home which was in violation of Pennsylvania’s strict liquor laws. He was unfortunate enough to sell these to an undercover cop. According to his lawyer, the wines were from his personal collection and he only charged enough to cover his costs and he wasn’t aiming to make a profit. He is now fighting to get his 2,400 bottles of wine back. Whether it’s worth the fight is up for debate, because it’s unlikely that Goldman’s rigorous temperature control when storing the wine was followed at the Liquor Control Enforcement Bureau in Philadelphia, where they currently reside.

When the shelving unit you haven’t maintained for 31 years suddenly decides to give way, crashing to the ground, smashing 6,810 bottles of wine in the process

This is what happened to the poor folks at Super Discount Liquors in Sheboygan, Wisconsin in 2011. In fact, every single second of it is filmed through CCTV and has since been uploaded to YouTube for your viewing pleasure. Without any sort of contact, the shelf seems to suddenly give way, and sends a tsunami of wine flowing through the store with one of the employees running for safety. Thankfully no one got hurt in the event, but this is definitely a situation where wine can leave you in need of a lawyer.

Tim Edison has an irrefutable love for wine and anything that has to do with it which shows in his blog Wine Turtle. Coming from a family of wine lovers, he developed this passion from an early age and has since had the chance to visited many of the notable wine regions throughout the World, and likes to share these experiences with his readers.

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