Beer Nose Chug
Photo via LeakedViralVideos / YouTube

No matter how good you get at chugging beer, you’ll never be finish-a-pint-through-your-nose-in-15-seconds good at chugging beer.

Someone in the Lanzhou district of China captured on video what may be the most athletic feat in the beer drinking world. In front of a large crowd of people, the mystery man bends his knees once, twice, then rises and puts his beer to his nose. Sniff by sniff he takes down the beer until his glass is empty, then he lowers it and the room goes (somewhat) wild.

The video made it to YouTube nine months ago, but it’s a modern marvel how this hasn’t spread around the world yet. Just think of what this man went through in the name of entertainment and oneupmanship. You know that feeling you get when you jump off of the diving board and you get pool water in your nose? Imagine that, times 1,000. It’s got to be like that painful feeling when liquid comes out of your nose when you’re laughing, but in reverse and on purpose.

Talk about a bad nasal drip. This guy must have the pain tolerance of a brick wall. For this to happen, the man had to pour the liquid through his nostrils, into his nasopharynx, let it rush like a waterfall down into his oropharynx, then down his esophagus until the boogery liquid finally hit his stomach.

What’s almost just as impressive is just how few people have their phones out recording this god amongst beer drinkers. More people pull their phones out to record the Naked Cowboy as he rollerblades through Times Square than this guy doing something most people have never even considered humanly possible.

Surely, I thought to myself as I watched the video, this man is one of a kind. Wrong. There’s a whole world of nostril chuggers out there just waiting for their 15 seconds of fame. Like Chris from Green Bay, or that guy on YouTube who can’t finish a whole beer. Then there’s Tim, who gets classy and nose chugs with a straw. Next up: Wine from the Glass Mask.

Nose chugging is probably not safe, and you shouldn’t try it at home. But if Broken Lizard ever gets around to making a second Beerfest movie, this stunt better be included.