More often than not, we make bottomless brunch about the booze. But what about the food? Yes, we’re generally drawn into that dimly lit dive bar by that shitty chalkboard sign enticing us in with unlimited boozy beverages. But to be honest, the drinks at bottomless brunch are pretty terrible. Watered down Bloody Marys and crap sparkling wine masked with orange juice are definitely not the first thing we’d normally order. But on a Saturday afternoon, especially when they come in unlimited quantity, promising a solid buzz and a plate of food, we’re in. Especially if the food is dynamite.
That said, choosing your brunch entrée could be a make-or-break for your entire day-drinking experience. Subpar beverages mixed with subpar food generally lead to subpar satisfaction. But shitty beverages plus delicious food leads to a promising buzz and an afternoon full of fun. When it comes to ordering, most of us tend to stick with the “brunch classics” — frittatas and French toast, but there’s actually one dish out that you aren’t ordering but should be. One dish wins the prize as the ultimate brunch dish.
Contrary to popular belief, a decked out burger is the way to go. We’re not talking a boring beef patty wedged between a shitty bun, but an actually delicious burger, dressed to the nines with a fried egg and cheese. A juicy burger, cooked to your preference, loaded up with some gooey cheese and topped with a runny egg is the ultimate dish for brunch.
Why, you may ask?
First of all, burgers are generally a solid choice. They’re hard to mess up, unlike various egg dishes that often come out looking more questionable than edible. Secondly, the grease and fat from the burger is perfect for sopping up that excessive amount of alcohol, leaving you nicely buzzed rather than full-out drunk. Lastly, is there any better tipsy snack than a side of salty, crunchy, cooked-to-perfection fries? We thought not.
Dip them in your runny egg, washed down with a citrusy Mimosa, for a full on brunchgasm that’s sure to get you every time. You’re welcome.