If you’re at a dive bar, you shouldn’t be ordering a cocktail. That’s not what dive bars do well. So in essence, any cocktail you attempt to order is the worst cocktail you could be ordering.
What you should be ordering instead is a cold beer or seltzer, a spirit straight or on the rocks, or a boilermaker, which is simply a shot and a beer. Dive bars are special because of their simplicity. They are places to go for an easy drink, not one where you order a Negroni Sbagliato because you want to be in on the recent meme trend. So sit down, order a nice cold beer, a shot to go along with it, and wait your turn at the pool table or to play darts. Don’t be that person who orders a cocktail. This is not the place.