Super Bowl Drinking Guide

There’s only one Sunday in America not designated for brunch, and that’s Super Bowl Sunday. It’s practically a national holiday, whether you like football or not. You’ll probably be drinking (we’ve got you covered on that), you’ll definitely be eating (got you on that one, too), and there’s a high chance you can’t name how many losses each team has.

The last point is moot. Super Bowl Sunday is just as much about the party as the game. When the New England Patriots play the Atlanta Falcons on Feb. 5, grab a drink and get ready for a good time with VinePair’s Super Bowl drinking game for people who don’t really care about the Super Bowl.

Team Rules

First things first: Pick a team. Whenever your team scores, drink for however many seconds were just scored. That means six seconds for a touchdown, one for a PAT, three for a field goal, etc.

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Whenever your team gets a penalty, consider the number of penalty yards a drinking penalty and drink for that many seconds.

Take one sip every time an announcer says…

A running back is a workhorse.

A player or team brought their A game.

This defense bends but doesn’t break.

A player is a real athlete.

Calls Matt Ryan “Matty Ice.”

Deflategate.

Take two sips every time…

The camera pans to Tom Brady’s wife Gisele Bündchen.

Tom Brady throws a pass longer than 10 yards.

A bad Super Bowl commercial plays.

Lady Gaga does something questionable in the halftime show.

Chug…

The entirety of the Budweiser commercial.

Every time you feel bad because your life will never be as perfect or as filled with beauty as Tom Brady’s life.