If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine, This Is What It'd Be | VinePair

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine, This Is What It’d Be

2 minute Read


There aren’t many things in the world that we love more than wine and puppies. In fact, there is nothing in the world that we love more than wine and puppies. We got to thinking about all of our beloved doggo breeds and what type of wine they’d drink if such a thing could happen. (Please don’t pretend you wouldn’t share an end-of-the-day drink with your dog if it were possible). We’ve gathered up 12 of the most popular dog breeds and deciphered which type of wine they’d bring home to you, beloved owner, if your dog were to gift you a bottle of wine reflective of its personality.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Golden Retriever – California Chardonnay

This all-American breed would clearly bring you an all-American wine — and what’s more American than a buttery California Chardonnay? Both dog and vino are full-bodied and rich, plus, their golden hues are identical.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Basset Hound – Burgundian Pinot Noir

Your basset hound obviously has hunting in his blood, and is therefore keen on dirt-like aromas and earthy flavor profiles, kind of like a Burgundian Pinot Noir. This wine, and breed, are the best of the best — so expect nothing less from your loyal companion.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Great Dane – Amarone

The biggest wine of all from the biggest dog of all. Makes sense, right? These high-alcohol, full-bodied reds are exactly what your great dane thinks of when good wine comes to mind. Your great dane also likes to drink, so the higher ABV goes hand in hand (paw in paw?) with this choice.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Pit Bull – Northern Rhone Syrah

Your pit bull seeks a wine whose body is similar to her own: muscular and fleshy. What better wine than a northern Rhone Syrah? These meaty, smoky wines are your pit’s absolute favorite — she’d obviously want you to think of her while enjoying it.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Rottweiler – Aglianico

Your rottie wanted to bring you something that, like her, is dark in color, full in body, and a little bit scary to those who don’t know her yet. While she can be threatening to strangers, she sympathizes with this lesser-known varietal that tends to get overlooked based on consumer intimidation. High in tannin, body, and acidity, the flavor profile of this bottle is just like your little (er, big) girl.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

German Shepherd – Riesling

The Germans are proud of their heritage, so it’s no surprise that your buddy will be gifting you a good ol’ German Riesling. But he’s a sweet German, of course, so the bottle is obviously going to be sweet as well.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Labrador Retriever – Lambrusco

Labs just want to have fun, just like Lambrusco. Light, fizzy, and fun to drink, Lambrusco is just as lovable as your lab — though he’s kind of impatient and might suggest drinking the whole bottle at once. Proceed with caution.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

English Bulldog – Claret

Because, let’s be honest, the English are obsessed with their clarets. These Bordeaux blends are all the rage among the British. Your bulldog just wants you to be as classy as her, that’s all.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Pug – Sauvignon Blanc

Pugs are known for being social and good companions, so this little lady’s all about having a girl’s night. She overheard you and your girlfriends gossiping over a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc the other day, so she followed suit, thoughtful little lady that she is.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Chihuahua – Vinho Verde

This little guy wanted to gift you exactly what his personality would be in a bottle: something light, spritzy, and fun. Vinho Verde is zippy and zesty, just like your chihuahua’s attitude. Low in alcohol, yet big in personality. Get the theme?

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

Poodle – Champagne

Because this French furball is classy as hell, just like his wine choice. He wanted to bring you a bottle from his native land, but only the most elegant selection possible. In fact, make it a Blanc de Blancs grand cru, because those who say you can’t buy class are entirely mistaken.

If Your Dog Were a Bottle of Wine...

French Bulldog – Beaujolais

Trendy, trendy, trendy. But we friggin’ LOVE them.

, ,


Share This!