Ask Adam: My Friend Tips Really Badly; What Do I Do? | VinePair

Ask Adam: My Friend Tips Really Badly; What Do I Do?

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Ask Adam Tipping

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My friend tips badly. Like, really badly. We’re talking 12 percent, on a good day. It’s so awkward going out with him, especially when we go places I like or where I’m a regular. What do I do? 

I feel for you. People who tip poorly are the absolute worst. Either they have no idea that they are bad tippers or they know and don’t care. Either way it’s a problem. You can’t exactly tell them, “Hello! 2006 called! It wants its 12 percent back!”

Here’s my best advice: If this person is really bringing you joy in other ways and you want to hang out with them but not inside your own home, you are going to have to cover their portion of the tip. If you take them someplace where you are a regular, it’s going to reflect poorly on you. It’s definitely not worth ruining a relationship with an establishment you enjoy over this. And sure, you can take them someplace you’ll never go back to, but then you’re still sticking a waiter or bartender with a bad tip. Isn’t the whole point of you being a good tipper that you want to reward good service?

So make sure when you’re out with this person to tip extra well. If they tip 10 percent, you’re going to want to up your usual 20 to 30 percent. #stayclassy

Last week I was at a dinner party and we were halfway through the appetizers and the hosts still hadn’t poured anyone a drink, even though there was wine on the table. Is it O.K. for me to pour myself a drink in this situation? Or do I have to wait for my host to offer me one?

If the bottle is open, you can absolutely reach for it. But make sure to pour for others before yourself. That’s a rule of thumb in general: Always pour for someone else first; otherwise, you look like a wine hog, and that’s not cute.

If the wine on the table is not open, though, your’e stuck waiting for the host to offer it to you. Do not be the person jonesing for a drink; that’s never a good look. If you’re at dinner with your best of best friends, you can say something like, “Oh, I’d love to try the wine.” But they may be saving it for the main course or even (gasp!) for dessert. In that case, you’re out of luck.

Someone gifted me a really expensive bottle of port. But I don’t like port! What’s a good cocktail to make with it?

It’s hard to determine without knowing what kind of port it is. But if it’s aged, you should not make a cocktail with it. While there are some great port cocktails out there, I would not make a cocktail out of a port that costs more than $30 a bottle. The better move would be give it to someone who would appreciate it. It should be opened and savored at the end of a meal.

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